Death Eater: "My Lord... the aurors are stretched thin, Potter is completely unguarded, and the Ministry defenses are down. Shouldn't we be doing something unspeakably evil right now?"
Voldemort: "Ssssssshhhh! Shut your mouth, Bellatrix, shut your miserable mouth! Keep your voice down, the tape is rolling! Look at the television screen! Look! The hair is floating! The lightning is crackling across Planet Namek! Oh, oh, oh, Goku is about to turn Super Saiyan for the very first time! Ooooh, this is very good, this is peak! Look at Frieza shaking in his wretched little boots! Do not dare touch that remote or cast a single curse until this transformation sequence finishes!"
Death Eater: "Sir... we bought an enchanted cathode-ray television using dark wizard funds to watch Japanese cartoons about alien monkeys screaming in the crater of an exploding world?"
Voldemort: "Silence, you uncultured troglodyte! That 'monkey' has more theatrical presence than the entire Wizengamot combined! Now grab a cushion, sit on the dungeon floor, and watch him avenge Krillin, or I swear by Salazar Slytherin I will feed your dark mark to Nagini!"
No fucking way are we doing this again.
Plague is announced and the same fucking day Israel says don't worry we have the vaccine for that.
No, that's a hard fuck no.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT.
"ALL I'M SAYING IS..."
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT.
"ALL I'M SAYING, PROFESSOR, IS THAT IF DUMBLEDORE IS THE GREATEST WIZARD IN THE WORLD HE SHOULD BE HERE HELP--"
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.
"HELPING US."
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT. BRRRRRRT. BRRRRRRT.
"I TOLD YOU POTTER. DUMBLEDORE IS CURRENTLY OCCUPIED WITH THE HOUSE ELF DOBBY!"
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTT.
"DOBBY IS--"
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.
"DOBBY IS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL MAGICAL CREATURE. WHY WOULD DUMBLEDORE NEED TO HELP HIM?"
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.
"I NEVER SAID THE WORD 'HELP,' POTTER."