Decaff

[Decaff @decaff89]

When I’m too drunk to read I tweet

[Decaff @decaff89]

8 year old kid just looked at me dead faced and said “What’s your dream job because I feel like this isn’t it”. I couldn’t stop laughing for long enough to feel insulted lmao.

[Evan Sowards @EvanSowards]

The 49ers really

- Traded for Jimmy, tears ACL
- Trade up for Lance, breaks ankle
- Find a 3rd stringer who can ball, he tears his elbow up in the NFC Championship

To Niners fans this stuff has become so normal but this is absolutely insane bad luck. All time bad luck.

[Decaff @decaff89]

Flight attendant just told me “The night is still young” like I’m going to get off a 6 hour flight and get fucked up on a Monday…. She’s right, I am.

[Decaff @decaff89]

God gave me a good month so now I have to have a shit month. I don’t make the rules I just live by them

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QBurnerNILES The luck of the Irish really said fuck this kid

[Decaff @decaff89]

It’s not that serious. Just smile lmao

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles Don’t have to graduate in a parking lot if you never graduate 👨‍🎓 Intelligence 100%

[George Kittle @gkittle46]

Me going to retweet everything about my teammates and the #ProBowlVote Because today is the last day!!! @49ers @djjones_44 @laken77

[Laken Tomlinson @laken77]

Faithfuls, please vote to get me into my first Pro Bowl!
#ProBowlVote Laken Tomlinson

1 Retweet = 1 vote!
#TrenchWarfare #FTTB

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles It’s irreversible unfortunately

[Pat McAfee Burner @PatMcafeeBurnr]

Me pulling up to college still not knowing what an adverb is

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles You still there or what? I’ll pull up

[Decaff @decaff89]

Pain

[Ian Rapoport @RapSheet]

The #Patriots aren’t done. They are signing WR Kendrick Bourne, source said. He gets 3-years for $22.5M.

[Decaff @decaff89]

Turned in my first homework assignment for my Calculus class this morning, teacher looks at me and says “Only one page?”. So my hopes of an A are already dwindling

[Gorham Rams Football @Gorham_Football]

#RamPride

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles @MaryAdams04 Assault.

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles None of those numbers I said were remotely close to right

[Decaff @decaff89]

@QbNiles 2,332.7 chickens
And that’s not random I did really really bad math to get that number