your pal flend.

Almost done.

[your pal flend. @dessflendness]

I saw Masters of the Universe and He-Man told me to kill my HR department #ad

[HowlingRetard Holocaust @browasright]

The way I would sprint over to show off my grip strength. "Alright, stand back folks. Watch a master at work." I pull the bars apart with ease. *everyone claps* "But wait, there's more." I then hold the baby above my head and tear it in half, the claps turn into shrieks of horror

[turbomander @turbomander]

when i found out my 2008 ford ranger was one of them transformers first thing i did was put a towel over the hood and drove that sumbitch through the car wash. he started hollerin' about some allsparks and i said no sir, i ain't interested in no alternative fuel i'm a diesel man

[Klara @klara_sjo]

My chud duck son.

[UFCStats💭 @TheUFCStats]

Ilia Topuria's corner: "Keep your hands up, look for the counter. He's head hunting, let's keep out hands up!"

Justin Gaethje's corner: "You want water buddy?"

[Logan Hall @loganclarkhall]

Mexicans who have been in the country for 30+ years: “Death to America! Viva la Mexico!”

Japanese who just stepped off the plane 10 minutes ago:

[EmptyHero @SuperEmptyHero]

Fun fact: If the United States paid all 43 million black American citizens $100,000 to return to Africa permanently, if would cost four trillion three hundred billion dollars upfront. But at an average cost of $30k per year in unearned social benefits, this program would pay for itself in less than 4 years, then add one trillion two hundred ninety billion to the surplus annually.

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

@rirokpik Do you think old black people were alive in the time of slavery

[Pj @outyourglory]

Dudeeeeee slow the fucking car down niggaaaaaa we’re about to crasshhhh niggaaaaa

[himpath (francis etc) @gorgeousbrains]

•george’s will be a meditative drama about loss and grief
•paul’s will be a cameron crowe-ish slice of life comedic drama
•john’s will be a romantically messy, political drama
•ringo’s will be a shot for shot remake of scooby-doo on zombie island

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

The Spotify AI dj is really an impressive piece of software because it will randomly mispronounce relatively easy words, making you feel like you’re having a conversation with an actual black guy

[🏖🦀BlockHead4000🏝🐠 @blockhead4000]

Approximately 40% of the federal budget goes to making sure 17yo 8th graders in cookie monster pajama pants have a fresh supply of Chromebooks to smash over each others heads in English class

[HVAC Barclay @BigDickBarclay]

🥳

[Sport Drink @sportdrink]

Need to create a website that's like the sex offender registry but for restaurants caught using Sysco food. Hiring private investigators for complex stakeouts. Unrelenting, merciless slop policing. Social lashings. Complete and utter shaming.

[Charls Carroll @goodcharls]

So I was just officially hired as a faggot and a writer for the New Infowars which has been pretty good so far. Jokes shall be going 100% classic pedophile from here on out so I hope you all enjoy the new direction. I’d like to thank Harvey Milk for getting me into comedy I’m gay

[Rumia @JefferyDoomer]

Give an Indian a fish and he rapes it.

Teach an Indian to fish and he'll find a way to kill himself.

[your pal flend. @dessflendness]

@sportdrink @X9_redux

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Me when the Nigerian chess wizard jumps his piece in a zig zag checkers motion over the whole board and looks me in the eye and says “Chess Mate”

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

I can watch this for hours.

[your pal flend. @dessflendness]

Movies made for black people

[your pal flend. @dessflendness]

Black people movies