DiaryOfABasicBitch

Don't step on my Uggs while I'm sipping my pumpkin spice latte, bitch. I braid daisy chains & smoke Marlboro Reds.

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

Give me an inch & I'll ask for 8 more.

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

I don’t even need #toiletpaper - your man gonna lick my ass clean. Carry on.

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Privileged white boys who sell weed for 60 a gram at frat parties be like “who want me”. Bitch, the IRS

[Tana Mongeau @tanamongeau]

i can’t wait to fall off and become a stripper :’)

[Mari Indigo @mari_indigo]

Hilarious when someone shares with me gossip I told them in confidence

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

If it whines like a fuckboy...

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

Pay attention to me like @SpeakerPelosi paid attention to those stack of papers during the #StateOfTheUnion

[just a girl named karma @justagonegirl]

well, this bridge isn’t going to burn itself...

[BadMummy @WineMummy]

Skanks that think they're Twitter 10s when they're real life 2s are why we can't have nice things.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

This impeachment bullshit better not interrupt Judge Judy that's all I have to say

[sleeping @urbanXpunjabi]

I’m sorry for not disappointing you

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

Abso-fucking-lutely!

[前澤友作 @yousuck2020]

In 2019, I did a 100 million yen giveaway on Twitter (1M yen to 100 winners). I hold the record for the most retweeted tweet.
In 2020, I did a giveaway of up to 1 billion yen.
This social experiment will study the effects of UBI.
Will you be happier if you were given 1M yen?

[Just J @junejuly12]

No thanks, invite to a “fun weekend at a cabin in the woods”.

Everyone knows only virgins make it to the end of those.

[Shade 5 🎬 @Shader70]

No one cares about your Facebook Memories...we already had to endure that shit once.

[DiaryOfABasicBitch @diaryofabasicb]

Don’t ask me for relationship advice. I’ll have you hurting feelings & slashing tires.

[2drink @2_drinkminimum]

Now I lay me down to sleep. If I die before I wake. Delete my search history.

[Jada Kiss @BadLilBooThang]

My whole heart right now ❤️