Dirty Diamond

I sing the world's dirtiest parody songs. Now go fuck your own face ...

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Dirty Diamond to headline ComedyGasm May 17th! I hope to fuck all the earholes with my jams! Check it out via FB - http://t.co/IyYvxIbEkt

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Congratulations to all my women friends who get to keep their vaginas, and to all my lesbian friends who get to keep their partners vaginas.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Oh, TwitterBangers ... How I've missed your finger-banged Tweets ....

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Oh Twitter. I have neglected thee. I won a Twitter award last year, only to expel you like a toxic shock tampon from a dead womans uterus.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

I'm too busy to Tweet you motherfuckers. Go Tweet yourselves ...

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

AOL did a story on us ... Dirty Talk: Neil Diamond Tribute Not For the Squeamish http://t.co/7kTIWhF

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

I'm so tired I could eat the waitress ... no ... wait ... that's not how the saying goes ... fuck ...

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

I tried jerking off whilst tweeting to be more efficient, but all my tweets ended in "lkaBDQFOuwqdvboo0PU;" :-/

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

There's two things of which I am certain - #1 - I am certain of nothing, and #2 - I am not too positive about #1. I'm a philosopher, Biatch.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Somedays you just wake up with a puddle of shit in your mouth and a smile on your face. Or is it the other way around ... I'm still drunk.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Some things are left better unsaid. This however is not - I fucked your GF! She wont tell. But youll smell my cock when she opens her mouth.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

The Vagina Jam is scheduled! Dec 10th @ the North Star in Philly. As always - Free Vibes!

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

#FF @DJSLEAZY - the guy who wrote many of your fave DD songs KILLS on Twitter. Follow for some seriously FUCKED-up funny!

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

@roywoodjr #NickSabanHalftimeSpeech "Y'all are stuck in a backroom with Rothlesburger out there!"

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

I don't punch girls often. BUT - the ditzy co-ed who asked me to "Support Breast Cancer?" this morning deserved an educational faceslap.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Dirty Wasted Thursdays lives on - Tonight! Msg me for details, guest list status, and free junk buzzers. I have that power.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Congratulations to Billy Halladay for his No-Hitler last night. Sandy Koufax would be proud, sir. A proud Jew indeed. #whatisbaseballagain?

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

Congratulations to Billy Halladay for his No-Hitler last night. Sandy Koufax would be proud, sir. A proud Jew indeed. #whatisbaseballagain?

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

My ego doesn't even get to fuck my ego without paying. Itself. And that makes SENSE. Unstupid yourself and see the smarts of it.

[Dirty Diamond @dirtydiamond]

I'm sorry - but if you don't LOVE Air Supply, I guess we were never really friends to begin with :-(