Brian Fantana

Your Reporter in The Field | Lifelong Michigan Fan, Go Blue | Omaha

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Timothy Johnson @MiamiCanes1971]

The British being unprepared to perform on American soil has been a tradition since 1776

[chimp @chimpp]

Me in the Strait of Hormuz fighting on China’s side because I accepted Temu’s terms and conditions without reading them

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

We haven’t seen a Duke go out like that since Franz Ferdinand

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

My son called me crying

“Dad, school ended 4 hours ago. I’m still waiting for you to pick me up!”

Click.

I hung up.

Weak pitch. No clear call to action. Didn’t give me a reason to care.

I went back to cold emailing billionaires.

He’ll have to learn a better way to get my attention if he wants my help.

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@Alex_Drain Gruden

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@MichiganPodcast Steve, ever thought about opening up the podcast to call in questions? Just a thought

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@MichiganPodcast Gruden, Gruden, Gruden, Gruden!

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@cpstalions @All22CFB Connor, love the work you've done for the program. My question looking forward towards next season is do you think there will be changes made in the coaching ranks due to sub-par performance in certain areas? Or is continuity more important when it comes to retaining recruits?

[Rob Freund @RobertFreundLaw]

$20k to simulate the experience of a roommate with a ketamine problem.

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

POV: you're a zoo penguin about to be put down

[CogginToboggan @CogginToboggan]

He's playing football, not stepping into a Vietnamese jungle for the first time in 1968.

[Chad Lowe @jpottingaround]

You won’t find a better tweet out there today.

[Jake Milkshake @bagmonsta]

The European mind trembles in fear at the sight of such a diverse American eatery

[Video Nasties🇵🇲 @53gaDr3amca5t]

Blowing a motorcyclist in half with a broadside of Lithium Shot like I was at the Battle of Trafalgar

[Nick Perkins @NickyPerkss]

Gonna tell my kids this was the Backstreet Boys

[biev🦫 @shadybiev]

I can name one September that was significantly worse.

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@JoshPateCFB Not a chance in ever. More likely will be some coach on a MAC/Sun Belt/AAC level that's had moderate success and looking for a pay bump. UCLA head coaching job has the attractiveness of a free craigslist used couch

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@MichiganPodcast Defensively, as well, they are giving up an average of 4 yards per carry, and that's against low quality teams. Iron sharpens Iron and Nebraska has been more like Iron beating up on soft fabric. The step up for them in competition will be too much of an adjustment.

[Brian Fantana @DJAP187]

@MichiganPodcast I think you have to Steve. Nebraska gave up 96 yds to Sorsby when they played Cincy and Bryce is far superior. Nebraska they are too small in the front 7. I think the 3-3-5 they run gives us too many advantages in the run game to create holes for all of our backfield.