Danielle Gutierrez

schmuck • writing @DownrightCreepy • she/her

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Because watching Bruce Campbell fall down is a beautiful thing: I wrote an ode to The Evil Dead, Raimi, and the wonderful, fearsome beast that is human creativity 🩸

Stoked to be in @wigwagmag again!!! https://t.co/DlsuNvOglc

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Sometimes baking is a romantic and beautiful experience and sometimes you’re yelling “FUCK THERE’S TOO MUCH GLUTEN FORMATION” in the middle of the night

[Rory McCarthy @roryisconfused]

[loudly] you should let Owen Wilson co-write it

[pj @pjayevans]

To be on the planet at the same time as Johnny Knoxville is an honor that is not lost on me

[McRib @McR1B69]

Goat forever

[er0b @er0b]

“it’s so funny you love saw. it’s so funny you love jackass.” god forbid women enjoy watching beautiful men in precarious situations

[aniuska 🇪🇸 @anallinaresg]

here we go again

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Not to be insane but the fact that I’ve been hopelessly unemployed for 6 months and this guy can just collect his check doing bullshit like this… At least pretend like you’re interested in baseball my guy

[Blake Harris @BlakeHHarris]

Kyle Tucker with one of the worst at bats you will ever see

I can't believe this man is getting paid $60 million a year

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Oh so we’re just making fake movies now

[kart @strawbrryk8]

they always say “skip intro” when i watch the simpsons ummmm i wanna see what they got goin on with the couch

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

“Is that the…”
“Limited edition Carlos Alcaraz US Open Evian water? Yeah”

[Drew @drubov]

Why yes I would like to see a 14’ gator clean the restroom

[anna !!! :)) 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸 @frogs4girls]

guy at the bar saw me drawing and we got to talking and i asked him if he drew or painted and he said his art is playing baseball and i unironically love that. fuck yea dude. there is art in everything we do. go paint with your bat.

[8BitBoi @TheComicQuest]

We have rebuilt your entire childhood home in order to help prepare you emotionally for Full Disclosure.

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Not sure if any riff goes as hard as the opening of the Fraggle Rock theme song

[Tom Cruise @TomCruise]

Nothing better than a summer Spielberg movie night in a packed theater with friends!

Steven thank you for all of the hours of joy that you have given us in the cinema!! It has been a great honor and pleasure to have worked with you and to call you my friend.

Congratulations to my dear friend Emily and the entire group of artists that created this movie. You were superb.

We all loved Disclosure Day!!

[ty📼 @vhsbabe]

worst pic of my life but JORDAN FUCKING PEELE YALL

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

I was specifically hoping this would come up

[ant 🐜 lauren kyle1 stan account @firelilyluke]

i don’t even know these guys but i fear this has become my favorite sports socials video of all time. ever team in every sport should do this if given the opportunity this is so funny

[Danielle Gutierrez @dmariegutierrez]

Still can’t stop laughing about this. Unbelievable stuff