Drew Hoolhorst

creative director and word writer. a decidedly okayish dad. I have a black belt in feelings. horrified I'm using effect/affect wrong on a daily basis.

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

just heard someone say “they’re not symptoms of depression, they’re blues clues” and that’s how i’m going to explain being sad forever now.

[Softboy @softboywin]

white people be like i have to pick up my dog’s Invisalign

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

huge untapped market for men who are normal

[Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats]

No one will ever hate you in person as much as strangers on the internet pretend to.

[Patrick @audiohymn]

I do not look like any celebrities. I do not look like anybody that's ever lived. My parents found me in a field

[sports live tweeter yadira @jonmoxIeys]

happy opening day to all who celebrates

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

@emiliepfrank @LeighWolf emilie our neighbors are being murder, don’t be rude to internet wolf.

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

@moe_kennedy @emiliepfrank

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Military experts say it will be difficult for the United States to retrieve Iran's nuclear materials. A senile rapist who shits himself in public says it will be easy. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

@cfcCamii boggled by the jorgensen play on this match of all matches. i’m nervous af, man.

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

People are being killed in our name whether you voted for it or not. I can’t imagine not feeling bad about that.

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

@emiliepfrank

[Ben Phillips @benphillips76]

I don’t know who needs to hear Jesse Jackson leading the kids on Sesame Street in this beautiful call-and-response reminding them that every child is somebody, but here it is

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I will be honest with you guys I have no idea how big an acre is

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

This was down the street from my home, literally down the block. I need people to understand that when I say this is a 15mph zone, it’s legitimately hard to go over 30mph even. She moved her assets into hiding after the incident so as not to face civil punishment. She is a monster no matter how old she is. The entire community was and is still a mess about it.

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

If we talking about drugs let’s talk about Epstein and friends drugging underage girls to rape them. Why yall don’t wanna talk about the Epstein files?

[arvo färt @arvofart]

If I ever learn what this tweet means, you have my consent to compassionately euthanize me

[Drew Hoolhorst @drewber]

I have the olympics on in the background at home and it reminds me of hearing my mom watching it in the kitchen when I was growing up 🥹

Just a weird variety of people whispering about sports I have never heard of. “MMMmmm Greg, she FINALLY landed the fluttengarf, we know that’s been a bee in her bonnet since the ‘07 Worlds in Saskatchewan!”

Nostalgia is so soothing.

[Nadim Hossain @NadimHossain]

Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first time SF visitor. You just enjoyed your first embarcadero walk on a 67F day in Feb with beautiful views while listening to a TBPN podcast. Naturally you’ll believe that’s the best thing ever until next month when you discover Green Street steps and urban rucking on a work call “off camera today”. That’ll last until sometime in Q2, when you’ll be fawning over your marina run club, right up until you discover Marin County and go on about the Dipsea Trail and your first triathlon, Rapha singlets and how much wearables are helping your recovery.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

MAGA Christians are treating the Epstein files like they do the Bible. They just pick and choose which parts they want to believe

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

I think if musicians want to stay out of politics then should also consider shutting the fuck up about Jesus