Babies Daddy

Husband, father, smart ass, yaddayaddayadda.

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@TheFFBallers BROCK-YOU-LIKE-A-HURRICANE Bowers 🤘🏾

#mondaypunday

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@FFHitman I’ve got a request! I’d like a drop for Tucker Kraft using the theme song to SHAFT.

Tucker is-a-bad-mutha-SHUTYOMOUTH-but-I’m-talkin’-bout-Kraft

Can you dig it?

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@FFHitman I’ve got a request, and you’re the “WRIGHT” man for the job (nope, I’m not sorry). I’d like a new drop for Tucker Kraft using the theme song to SHAFT.

Tucker is-a-bad-mutha-SHUTYOMOUTH-but-I’m-talkin’-bout-Kraft

Can you dig it?

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@TheFFBallers Calling it now, DAMN SkatteBOOM!

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@GuruFantasyWrld Just to be clear, not ALL Moore’s are bad, right? Asking for a friend @jasonmoore

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

Me: I need to look up a recipe real quick.
YouTube Algorithm: How about this Alisha Lehmann video?
Me: Wait, what? Idk who that is.
YT: Soccer player.
Me: I don’t even like soccer.
YT: Alisha. Lehmann.
Me: Oh…I guess I could watch for a little while.

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

Dear Elected U.S. Officials,

Lock yourselves in a room - all of you. Don’t come out until you find some meaningful solutions (this will involve compromise). If you can’t find solutions, you’ll be relieved of your duties and we’ll find someone else.

Sincerely,

All Americans

[Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp]

“It’s 9am somewhere” -me having my first sip of water at 2pm

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

You think you are pretty laid back until you watch your kids decorate a gingerbread house all by themselves.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

I think my kids got “Christmas list” and “prayer requests” mixed up.

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

Was gonna say somethin’ nice about marriage, but I walked in on my wife watching “Young Sheldon” and now I’m not so sure that I want to be married anymore.

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

an app for driving in the dark and it says horses when you drive past horses

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

“Save The Date!” Is what is said, but

“Make An Excuse!” Is what I read.

[ADHDean @ADHDeanASL]

Everything I know about opera i learned from Bugs Bunny in drag

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

Wow, that family that owns the local funeral home sure seems normal.

- said no one ever

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

As I sat there in the dentists chair with the hygienist knuckle deep in my mouth, I couldn’t help but feel thankful that she didn’t view wearing rubber gloves as a violation of her personal freedom.

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

Maps: turn right in 500ft

Me: how far is that

Maps: make a u-turn

[mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo]

5: I need a pipecleaner
me: oddly enough, there is one tied to my door handle
5: I need some string
me: in the basement, the room next to dad’s office
5: I need a purple crayon
me: under the couch in the toy room

also me: where tf is my phone?

[Babies Daddy @dshack8]

@justamom819 @treydayway I’ll co-sign that. Their washing machines are no bueno.