solution gambler

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

Getting swarmed by bees as if I wasn't anxious enough toting c4 through the airport

[Pete Oxenham @peteoxenham]

TIL you can train bees to sniff bombs in <1hr, parade them around an airport, then send them back home to their day job when you’re done

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

Twitter was a good website for telling jokes and reading jokes. X is a good website for being white and having nothing else going on.

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

@jakebrodes 🗣️

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

@dookielildog Reminding you this is here since it just came up on my fyp 2:04 am

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

I do not trust ANYBODY with an underbite

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

You gotta wonder what the people on my block think about their adult neighbor standing in the street making owl noises

[bruno @brunitocoso]

che disculpame que no te contesté estaba con el google maps siguiendo un río enorme hasta su desembocadura

[Captain Jean-Luc Dickhard @cointelprostate]

Wearing a shirt that says “I ❤️ the jury” to my trial

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

Me learning about the giant squid, age 6: holy fucking shit.. no way there's a bigger squid than this..

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

2 unrecognizable buildings appeared on my daily commute

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

You should be able to spend 1 million dollars to get a 25th hour each day. But only if you're pure of heart.

[Ella Dorn 唐棠 @elladorn_]

What I've learned from writing a novel is that you should always be writing a novel, it's a permanent get-out-of-jail- free card, it gives you this excellent moral and lifestyle high ground you'd never get anywhere else

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

One door leads to safety, the other door leads to death. One guard only tells the truth, the other guard only tells lies. You may ask only one question.

“what are you, the door brothers”

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

Damn that's crazy

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

I would be hype if anarchist groups started destroying data centers.. no particular reason why I just want to see what would happen

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

If it happened now you wouldn't get away with calling it "Wednesday". The mere suggestion would get you laughed out of the room.

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

I swing a fly swatter with malice toward much more than the fly.

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

New olympic sport: kicking ice under the fridge

[solution gambler @dumbasspilled]

Undiscussed outcome of Epstein scandal: if we ever get verifiable evidence that Trump was involved his admin will immediately release proof of alien life as interference. Two birds with one stone!

[flanthippe @flanthippe]

They should invent Avant-garde sports.