Emma Hicklen

[Adrienne Ianniciello @adrienneinclo]

“she’s a 10 but” is the premise of most Seinfeld episodes

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

I don’t know...you think the guys like my new swim trunks? 😎

[sheeva @sheevasmells]

once again

[Jessica Valenti @JessicaValenti]

I know my daughter is just like me because when I asked why she didn’t like her school’s guided meditation, she said: “Because don’t tell me when to breathe, that’s why.”

[ZA @vvsdolly]

wtf......

[Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney]

Every marriage has one person who reports whenever a celebrity dies and one person who says “oh.”

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

eavesdropping at a coffee shop to this girl talking for an HOUR STRAIGHT about how she can’t find a good man and she hasn’t let her friend say even a single WORD. like sweetheart the call is coming from inside the house

[esoteric adams @nenocenturi0n]

alright hear me out: maximum wage

[rachel yara @bugposting]

A boston dad on the street just pointed at me and audibly said to his kids “That’s what a hipster looks like”

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”

[connor Wood @fibulaa]

They should have a restaurant where you can lay down

[trash jones @jzux]

men on dating apps who write “let’s skip the small talk and meet up” are seriously underestimating how much i think men are going to kill me

[worms cited @christapeterso]

do the flat earth people think the moon is also flat

[James @CaucasianJames]

idk why but i wanna have a beer with this guy

[maya 🪩 @allmychampagne]

Lots of insta stories today looking like this

[gabbi @gabbi_thoughts]

i love a man with a bedtime. boys don't need to be staying up late and having thoughts. that's how we ended up with the stock market