Steve

avid procrastinator, emotional masochist

[Steve @eguogiv]

@LeftieStats So you're a dumbass.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@KariLake @CarolineWren That's less time than it takes for you to lose another election.

[Steve @eguogiv]

Here's something that never happened.

[Ella @EllasArchive1]

I ordered food for $18, and the delivery driver handed me a bag worth almost $200.

I didn’t notice at first.

I was hungry, tired, and already annoyed because the delivery was 45 minutes late.

I grabbed the bag and went upstairs.

When I opened it, I realized something was wrong.

There were steaks.

A bottle of expensive wine.

Three different desserts.

And a handwritten card.

I checked the receipt.

The total was $187.

My order had been $18.

I immediately called the restaurant.

“Hi, I think my order was mixed up.”

The woman checked my order number.

Then she said:

“Please don’t eat anything.”

I laughed.

“I wasn’t planning to.”

She said:

“That’s not why I’m asking.”

[Steve @eguogiv]

@DasKapable @AriDrennen What mistake did he make?

[Steve @eguogiv]

@TooLowBrow @SamSeder @SenSchumer If that's true, why is Schumer spending millions in Maine for Jackson?

[Steve @eguogiv]

@ok_post_guy If you saw the routine trolls he has to deal with then you'd do the same. Plus the place is significantly better than here.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@VaughnEGolden What a fucking liar.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@AllisonRFloyd People know the biblical plagues. They're also called the 'Plagues of Egypt', so when doing a story that has Egypt suffering from plagues as portend to something then using the known ones makes sense.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@Ok_Cinema0 Why would it be Blade?

[Steve @eguogiv]

@stacycay I assure you there are hundreds of millions of non evangelicals who believe that Israel should continue to exist.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@JewishWonk Hardest working?

[Steve @eguogiv]

@RollingStone That's puts the "WHO?!?" In who's who.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@LinkofSunshine Then get the fuck off twitter.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@supirorguy @bradynichols88 @zach_brownies @christianjbdev r/Confidentlyincorrect

[Steve @eguogiv]

@irisembury @EireGalloglaigh Groucho Marx was Jewish.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@JamesSurowiecki @mirkel Do you really think Kraft knows the fine details of every Gilette booking, or that even if he does, he also knows the full history of every person?

[Steve @eguogiv]

This is an indictment of your reporting career.

[CT jones @christjonesyy]

This might be the hardest story I've ever written.

Ms. Rachel is one of the biggest children's entertainers in the world. She's drawn outrage and adoration for her stance on Gaza — but can her private life survive the public scrutiny?
https://t.co/4cixI4ynwi

[Steve @eguogiv]

@nocturnalbottle So you're calling for ethnic cleansing? And you think you're the good guy.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@dfwmhuh Because it's not.

[Steve @eguogiv]

@NormaiSantos Fuck Johnny Depp