Butter Bean

I love my daddy, Elan. I hate my brother (@elanspony). And my mommy left us (@iamelansex)

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

@theyearofelan hey dad, can you ask Chris Harrison to stop saying #historic? #bachelor

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Hey @MollyQuinn93 - are you my new mommy? Because my last one sucked. @theyearofelan

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Cute, dad. 2 Questions: 1.) is this my new mommy? 2.) can I sleep in the big bed tonight? https://t.co/bpQMmFMbjx

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Me too dad. Me. Too. https://t.co/pi22PUUk7R

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

@theyearofelan is there a reason there aren't any goats? We need love too. #goatlivesmatter @BachParadise

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Four. Duh. https://t.co/7T504Tkno9

[Melissa @MelissaAFrye]

@elansgoat @theyearofelan How many teats we talkin' 'bout here?

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

.@theyearofelan Hey dad - I want breast implants. Yes or no?

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Can I come out of my room, yet? https://t.co/SfENFQCKSM

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

“@thebeardofelan: @elansgoat hey goat” // my mother is a whore, not a llama. Try and keep up.

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

You have no mother or soul; however, I love you. https://t.co/Exqt0DQ94W

[Elan's Beard @thebeardofelan]

mama we made it

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

BRING ME FOOD. IM NOT KIDDING THIS TIME. I WILL EAT YOUR BED TONIGHT. https://t.co/SRrP2ZgcmR

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

In honor of tonight's horn dog #bachelorette episode: I'm pretty sure I banged one of those sheep in Dublin. Jill. Met her at Club Ginger.

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Does this mean I don't have to live in the bathtub anymore? https://t.co/luUjEmrWlw

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

I'd date him too. But someone said that's called "beastiality". And incest. And homosexuality. And vampirism. https://t.co/957IAlbTh9

[windy @windy7777777]

@elansgoat @theyearofelan Your Dad could be! I'd date him

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

.@theyearofelan also, I didn't go to Princeton. And I don't have sex...ever. And girls, generally, hate me. But can I be the next bachelor?

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

.@theyearofelan hey dad. Quick question: what's it mean to get your field plowed? Like corn?

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

Proud of you dad. #365Hugs&Kisses https://t.co/rjK7J6HVH2

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

@jonforeman - how do you always keep your songwriting fresh? #TheWonderlands

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

@brittkarolina - Hey girl. I'm just looking for a friend. Will you be friend?

[Butter Bean @elansgoat]

@bunniknits - yes. Mommy was on her 3 month "binge-er" and brother was too stupid to unlock the door.