Eliza Block

pretty good at pacman

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Cannot recommend this book highly enough. It’s sci-fi by an author of literary fiction, beautifully written and impossible to put down.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

My dad’s book reviewed in Science Magazine!

[Chaz Firestone @chazfirestone]

What we see is different from what we think, know, judge, or understand. But what exactly is the difference? @ibphillips and I explore this question in @ScienceMagazine, in a review of @de_dicto’s wonderful new book, The Border Between Seeing and Thinking.
https://t.co/jxSsePgvBB

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

5yo (out of the blue): did you know that every day, somebody pees in their pants?

Me: …oh? how do you know?

5yo: because there are THOUSANDS of people in the world.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

3yo: I am a baby lava horse. [shoots lava at 5yo]
5yo: i am a fairy who is invulnerable to lava.
3yo: I’m invulnerable to lava too.
5yo: no you’re not, you live in lava.
Me: wouldn’t she still be invulnerable in that case?
5yo: NO! Are you invulnerable to HOUSES?

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

[family eating sliced plum]
Me: want a piece?
3yo: yuck!
Me: really? It’s a good one!
3yo: I don’t want your slimy peach.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

3yo: what’s the thing that keeps us on the floor?
Me: what? …instead of floating up into the air?
3yo: yes
Me: gravity?
3yo: yes! Gravity. We learned about gravity in school.
Me: oh neat, what did you learn about it?
3yo: it keeps us on the floor. But it doesn’t work on birds.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

5yo: when can we get a dog?
Me: we’d like to get a dog! Right now we have too many creatures.
3yo: what creatures?
Me: We have two cats and three small children.
3yo: we are not CREATURES, we are people!
Me: oh, right.
3yo: were you joking?
Me: … yes.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Caught our cat reading Dog Man. Should I be worried?

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

@_TomJones @joshshaffer I miss them too!

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

(Getting into the car)

3yo: can I drive?

Me: sorry! You’re a kid. But you’ll be allowed to drive once you’re a grownup.

3yo, worried: …which grownup will I be?

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

5yo: Mom! I have a problem!
Me: What’s the problem?
5yo: It’s March, right?
Me: yes
5yo: March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October. October is coming up and I don’t know what to be for Halloween!

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

3yo (looking at a broken crayon): this is the difference between ‘break’ and ‘broke’: when something is breaking, it breaks. But when something is broking, it broke. And it’s sad.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

3yo, swinging arm in a circle: this is a fan! I’m blowing cold air on you.

Me: brrr, it’s so cold!

3yo: I’m pretending.

…

3yo: It’s really my arm.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Grandma: you can play in the waves once you learn to swim.

5yo: I know how to swim [this is false], but I can’t swim very far… only 3 miles. Then I get tired and sink. And I haven’t learned how to breathe underwater yet.

Grandma: nobody can breathe underwater!

5yo: Zoey can.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

5yo: there are three things you should never say: “stupid”, “cut it out”, and “listen up”.

Me: … are you sure you don’t mean “shut up”?

5yo: oh right, “shut up”. But “listen up” is just as bad.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Me: why did you pull Mae’s hair?

3yo: I was really angry. She said I couldn’t play the game.

Me: okay, but what’s something you can do if you’re angry, that’s not pulling hair?

3yo: um … hitting.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Our family just watched Finding Nemo over three evenings. 2yos clamored to watch more each night. Finally we finished it.

Me: so, what did you guys think?
2yo (slowly): so… fish do not usually talk.

[Eliza Block @elizablock]

Grandmommy: do you think there are maybe too many ornaments in this one spot?

4yo: No.