Emily Claire

What Would Jeff Goldblum Do?

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

My cat at 08:03 - I’d LOVE to go out! I’ll spend all day playing in the snow!
08:07 - Just kidding. Let me in immediately.
08:21 - I bet it’s different out there now! I’d like to go out. Won’t be a nuisance AT ALL!
08:24 - Misunderstanding. Get me into the warm, woman.

**Repeat

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@SoozUK @SloaneFragment @jk_rowling ‘People with things in common and shared life experiences, find each other in a mad world which is fundamentally built against them’ is literally a book I would read or a telly series I’m down for.

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@1030 Crumbs

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

Important opinion: You’ve either got Timberland feet or Doc Marten feet.

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@paddypower It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about who just ate their bogey live on telly #garnacho

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@nugmegs @godfrey_lawson No but I love this reply because you’re actually standing up for the right point.
Granted, you might not know that this is a parody taking the piss out of a post made by a Tory pinecone yesterday or Friday.
But the point stands that you’re the good person here and that’s the vibe

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@JRLOakley Wait til they hear about China Town… 👀

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

Spotify: Merry Christmas. I feel like you’d enjoy some classic Dickens today.

Me, listening to Mike & Vittorios guide to Parenting pod: Well I feel like you’ve woefully misjudged me

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

I’ve just given a snot-awful TV programme two hours worth of viewing figure time, because the cat was asleep on the remote and telly doesn’t have buttons except maybe it does I don’t know I’m tired

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@DrJenIzaakson

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@AliceStevo I wish this hadn’t happened to you. And I wish it was uncommon to have happened 😔

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@PurinaONE yo can you help me out? My cat has a hard craving for the Purina One biscuits that look like little ovoids, kind of egg like. But I don’t know what they are. They’re definitely not the normal ‘Adult’ ones, which are little triangle guys. Any ideas? (UK if that matters)

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@StateOfLinkedIn Oh god I bet he’s done the same on his Tinder profile too 🙄

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@StuartWalshEsq @StateOfLinkedIn Yeah, he’s basically chucked a hundred quid at some stock while he was sat at home bored in the pandemic. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Jessica Burbank @JessicaLBurbank]

Why would the government have an obligation to search for and save the life of a billionaire who willingly took a submarine to the ocean floor but not a kid with cancer who can’t afford healthcare?

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@Herring1967 So SOO many people went with ‘No’ 🤣

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@NoContextHumans Jack Grealish let himself go

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@beckyjpulley @CatsOfYore I particularly enjoy the ALT description of the cat being infinitely more detailed than the description of the actual woman.
This speaks to me on a spiritual level.

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@HeyBethMay As an elder millennial, *everything* is wrong with my back and I would like to know how I can get one of these installed in my house.

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@SoVeryBritish I’m bringing black the @liamwithnail @MarjoleinR @GarethWaugh @rossisacoolguy @macarthurboyd D&D insanity. But with tea. In a caravan.

[Emily Claire @emleeclaire]

@The_East_End She’s a beaut, that pub