@GhostOfSocrates This has historical roots in the fact that my time is valuable, scarce and a finite resource. I spent the free time of my night sitting alone waiting for you to show up. I do not get that time back. I would rather have been doing something else with it. What are you talking about
@dog_domain@andrewglynch@privatebirb all of these are just things that happen to people and easily remedied with "hey sry running late forgot to put gas in car". They don't explain this "time blindness" notion of "I dematerialized from this plane of existence and then just appeared an hour after I said I would"
@MaxiumMeda@privatebirb to it. Sure. You text your friend and say โIโm not feeling well tonight, not gonna make it.โ It doesnโt explain or justify showing up an hour late to something without any warning
@MaxiumMeda@privatebirb Iโve spent years, well basically my entire life, developing coping strategies because I saw that my actions were having consequences on my relationships, and I made it a priority to work on my issues as much as I could. And if itโs example 3, the alarm goes off, you donโt feel up
@angryaboutbikes "would you set an alarm? three alarms?" oh wow the horror
"stay up all night? cancel appointments?" no one needs to do this for plans they voluntarily made with their friends
@johndrewmarkley yes and then right before they're about to leave they get sucked into The Void Where Something They Can't Quite Describe happens for 90 minutes so they can't even communicate that they're going to be late or anything
and you're an hour late, that's obviously very frustrating because it's a massive waste of my free time. The people on the other side of this issue with a more post-colonial understanding of time, well, let's just say I don't think a lot of those earthly concerns apply to them
I think one thing that has crystalized for me reading this lateness discourse is this: every weekday, I work 8 hours. I go to the gym. I shop for groceries. I make dinner. I do a few chores. That leaves me with 1-3 free hours. If we agree to hang out during those two hours
@MaxiumMeda@loserbent I sat at a restaurant alone for an hour while you scrolled reels or tidied your apartment. You were doing the thing you wanted to be doing. I was not. This is not hard to understand.
@DeeLaSheeArt "hey want to grab coffee?"
"sure, 10AM?"
"sure"
*I sit in a coffee shop alone at a table for 45 minutes*
You're right, nothing has happened, other than I'm incredibly frustrated and annoyed with the other party and I probably won't make plans with them again
@voidpires it's one of those things where they clearly leave out the key detail because if they said "well I WAS ready to head out at the appointed time, but then I spent an hour on my couch looking at reels and was late" no one would have an ounce of sympathy for them