Eric Walter

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

"Your witty wordplay based on the prompt is admirable, but I've deployed a vulgar slur for my answer. That appears to be Quiplash, Mr. Bond."

[魈✟ ❂☭ 電波系奇男子 @ShoBeiYong]

钓到大鱼了

[꧁꧂ @eat5G]

There are fruits to eat yet. Life to live

[bro @scrungeonmaster]

i’m not even compelled by the amulet like that bro. i just wanna see it. is that so wrong

[miles (mpp) 🌹 @goldmanbear]

They traded Luka and got hit with the Ten Plagues of Egypt 💀

[T.F. Pfyl @TPfy13]

Just had Jersey Mikes sub that was so good I had to make it my lock screen

[angie @hotsoggi]

manager said "i'll beat that horse when it gets here" today. incredible new phrase i will now be using as regularly as possible

[teddy @luncheoninfur]

zookeeper roommate texts asking if it’s ok for her to bring the massive seal by the apartment for a few hours. he smells like fish and is a slob so i say try to say no big seal but my phone autocorrects to no big deal. don’t notice until it’s too late. the fucking seal is coming.

[cory @coolmathgame_]

just taught a man how to fish. fucking set him up for the rest of his life. he doesn’t even understand what i’ve done for him

[sho @1shoryuken]

wait

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

[driving]
my astigmatism shows me the light of angels in every street lamp and headlight.

*sees your red brake lights ahead of me* but the Devil remains nearby,

*starts to speed up* I am the Sword of God

[Xenon @xenontf]

is the fit hard

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

Dude plays a banjo on a mountain and a little Fox shows up to listen

[regular sized ackman @pleas4nt]

That the French were able to lock down "maids", "braids", and "kissing" tells you they were some legendary freakers. Not really sure how the toast fits in though