Emily Thompson

[The Hooburrito, a burrito by Hoobastank @sug_knight]

The energy Taylor Swift fans have for her music, I have for Boar’s Head premium deli meats and cheeses

[charles entertainment cheese @jmurffff]

a big part of 2010ish high school culture was hearing a guy go "unce unce unce unce" almost at all times. people forget but not me

[Sarina Jwo @xaniras]

At work, I say “on it,” way too often for someone who is not, in fact, on it.

[BACKUPoutofcontexthannahmontana @oohannahmontana]

Kim Kardashian better not even think about this dress 😭😭😭😭

[Raymond Chang @tweetraychang]

Dear Christian, amendments are not commandments.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

One of my favorite lies to tell myself is that a blueberry muffin is substantially more nutritious than a chocolate chip muffin.

[Jon @jonxlife]

The academy presenting the next category with Chris Rock and Will Smith backstage 😂 #Oscars #Oscars2022

[Chanty Beluga @itschantybeluga]

me when I’m 75: is he in our grade

[trash jones @jzux]

sick days are cool but employers should also offer “sleepy days”

[T @nottallkaps]

Not a wordle just trying to find a meeting time that works for everyone
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[Ophira Eisenberg @OphiraE]

I want my COVID test to tell me who gave it to me.

Names! I want names.

[Cat Elgarrista @cat_elg]

goldilocks was so stupid for not wanting to sleep in a bed too big for her. oh nooo i’m tooo comfy!! shut up

[jordan adika @JordanAdika]

new year new me and this time im way worse

[Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala]

I know it's because of capitalism but also I think maybe someone from the CDC had to quarantine with their mom for 10 days and was like "actually 5 days is fine"

[Meh @Spilling_The_T]

Inkeeper: There is no room at the inn!

Jesus in Mary’s womb:

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

hey quick q is anyone else losing their entire mind

[GL @gldivittorio]

If we go back into full lockdown all winter I'm starting hard drugs or becoming a flat earther or something I cannot do this again fully aware