Eva Osilli

Engineer|mum|daughter|wife

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

DEAR MEN,

If your wife has joined a running club but you haven't, SHONOKA.

I need to tell you something important.

There’s a permanent member of your family that nobody introduced properly, please allow me to.

And I need you to sit down first.

You’ve seen she wakes up at 4:30am on a Saturdays?

Not for you. Not for the children. Not for church.

For a 5am run in Karura Forest with a man called Brian who has the body of a Greek statue and the energy of someone who has never eaten ugali in his life.

Brian organizes these runs.

Brian sets the pace.

Brian decides who runs next to whom.

You need to understand what Brian looks like to understand why this is a problem.

Brian is 34.

Brian runs 30 marathons a year.

Brian has never had a beer belly.

Brian has never come home at midnight smelling of Tusker and fallen asleep mid-sentence.

Brian wakes up every morning and does things to his body that your body has completely forgotten are possible.

Your wife sees Brian every Saturday at 5am in Karura.

Then on Wednesdays in Ngong.

Then on the Vienna Loop in Karen on the last Sunday of the month.

She definitely has missed your family lunches.

She has not missed Brian once this entire year.

Now.

The run ends at 8am.

21 kilometres done.

Her legs are tired.

Her muscles are tight.

She needs stretching.

She needs a massage.

She needs somebody to hold her legs and work out the tension from the inside of her thighs that 21 kilometres of road have created.

Brian knows a place.

Brian always knows a place.

You need to see what these women wear when they run to understand what Brian is looking at for 21 kilometres from behind before the stretching even begins.

The institution of marriage is being dismantled one kilometre at a time on the streets of Kilimani.

Now here is the part that should make you put your phone down and think.

Your wife just turned 40.

The children are done.

Three is enough.

That chapter is closed.

She has looked at her life and made a quiet decision that nobody announced.

She has discovered running.

She has discovered health.

She has discovered Brian.

And while you are home on Saturday morning sleeping until 10am, scratching yourself, watching football highlights from Thursday, she is on kilometre 18 of a 21 kilometre run next to a man who has not stopped moving since 1974.

She comes home glowing.

You think it is the exercise.

It is not only the exercise.

Look at all the Marathons done last year, they all had women signing up in numbers that broke the registration system.

Thousands of women.

Suddenly everyone is running.

Everyone has discovered fitness.

Everyone in Nairobi has a running club, a running group, a running WhatsApp that is on silent when they get home.

You were not invited to the WhatsApp group.

Brian runs it.

As an elder I must warn you.

The running clubs of Nairobi are doing more damage to marriages than any bar, any office, any late night ever did.

Because she is not sneaking.

She is training.

She is healthy.

She is happy.

She is glowing every Saturday by 9am.

And you are still in bed.

We either lace up and join these women on that road at 5am or we accept that Brian is now a permanent member of this family that nobody introduced properly.

Don't say the servant of the Lord didn't warn you. 😐

[Dan Aceda @danaceda]

By the way (and I know I have said this a few times) the future of Nairobi cannot be achieved with Yaya Center and T Mall standing.

Those must go.

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

Bishop Rt Rev Prof. David Kodia puts looters on the spot at Nyayo Stadium.

[Cenas Ojung'a @cenas_j]

1530.
This is the most hilarious moment I ever come across from the enigma - ranks up up there. Be in peace. Cc @Honcalebamisi

[Cyprian, Is Nyakundi @C_NyaKundiH]

These men nearly brought down the entire SACCO sector, yet they’re walking free thanks to a Ksh. 3 million cash bail, despite over Ksh. 13 billion looted. When I first exposed them in 2023, the courts gagged me. In China, such cases don’t end in bail…they end with the hangman.

[KENYA GOSSIP HUB @kenyasgossips]

Burna Boy ended the amazing concert with his hit "Last last" 🔥

[Sun Tzu @ItsChanzu]

Babe why is Mpesa texting you "Thanks for last night"

me: I don't have a mother or father, Let's respect the dead.

[Kipsambu Tigentiony @KipsambuT]

Nderitu Gachagua right now in heaven akiskia ako na 80 apartments Lang'ata na amekunywa maziwa na asali supper.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

Three things I want to point out from Divorce in the Black.

[Earthquake Monitor @EQAlerts]

Seismic-like event, possible #earthquake, reported few minutes ago near Nairobi, Nairobi Area, Kenya - info, user re...: https://t.co/CxDtuMZLmO

[ticketing_services🍀htb tpa @ticketingzvyd]

@gabrieloguda polisi walichoka na huyu wakaamua kumwachilia

[Black @LilithBlack25]

"unakuanga mjinga "
A Kenyan complimenting your sense of humor 😂

[Eva Osilli @evosilli]

I witnessed an accident on Waiyaki way just b4 the Xpressway where a woman was hit dead by a car. I can’t stop thinking about how life is fickle, she left home this morning never to return, about her family who have no idea and will be waiting for her to come home this evening 😢

[Frantz Fanon @waweru]

Many people emigrating to the west in this latest wave of departures are Kenyans in their 40’s and 50’s:IMHO previously,Kenyans used to leave in their youth. Quite jarring to read a colleagues linked in profile and see their new address is Calgary Canada 😳what’s going on?🤔🤔

[Harriet @PrimeCrystalGem]

Me thinking Kenneth and Brittany were gonna be the best couple of the season-
#LoveIsBlindS6 #loveisblind

[Feminist Witch 2.0 @DonCorleAnnn]

I hope more African girls experience living independently before they get married. Paying rent for your apartment, having hired help to cater to your needs, walking naked in your apartment, washing dishes to 70s disco music, complaining about the price of food. Experiencing bliss