Fearmongering Ocelot

approximately crow sized

[Fearmongering Ocelot @extraterextrial]

Sorry I’m just in that awkward phase between birth and death yaknow how it is

[Ariana Jasmine @arianajasmine__]

Tell me a vegetable you don’t like, I’ll go first: Mitch McConnell

[stranger @23lollz]

you ever just #notice and #realize

[pingu @pingu4ll]

i am a sacrifice that survived

[m @mj_a_w]

a lot of leftist men think that because they have good politics, they are inherently good people and don't have to self reflect on their behavior within their personal lives, especially with respect to how they treat women

[DA VINKI @VorosTwins]

AND FOR THE LADY, PERHAPS A FREE PALESTINE?

[•🦋• @Oreos_iam]

Scratching a bug bite is like evil masturbation

[HB @hanabryanne]

sorry to this girl whose phone call i’m eavesdropping on but “he took an hour long shower and he doesn’t even have hair” is one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

bro shut up you're acting like such an unexpected item in bagging area right now

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

seeing a lot of "higher gas prices won't affect me because I don't drive very much" and unfortunately it is my sad duty to inform you that your food does not teleport to the grocery store

[black pepper cracker @__angoose]

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

i don't know how to flirt, I told her she's a pillar of the community

[alexei @alexeixbt]

nobody coming to save you also implies
no one is coming to stop you

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

[M 🐆 @mattnkofo]

A calm nervous system.

[☆ @seadave1a]

"a girl’s twitter is full of hints" yeah hints that she's mentally ill

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

stop bothering me or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people but I can tell you are not yet aware of

[Fearmongering Ocelot @extraterextrial]

@McDonalds bring back the breakfast cinnamon melts you cowards