Lick Broccoli

Tweets are exactly the opinions of my employers. My bosses write all of my posts for me. (parody)

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

🌈 happy pride

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Older than baseball

[Pop Base @PopBase]

A tortoise named Jonathan has been named the oldest living land animal at an estimated age of 194. (1832-2026)

His species have an average life expectancy of 150 years.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Yeah I guess the third basemen got lucky too?

[Jacob Calvin Meyer @jcalvinmeyer]

There is plenty of nuance in the exit velocity "debate." There are better, more holistic metrics to look at to understand the success of an offense or a hitter, and results are ultimately what matter.

But there's no arguing these are two great swings that had unlucky outcomes.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Imagine doing all the work to photoshop and image just to have somebody call it AI

[sav:) @savannahailey_]

this is actually extremely weird and unsettling lol

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

This was really good

[The Trillbillies @thetrillbillies]

Sunday Service #5: “HE IS NOT HERE”
https://t.co/xfWCT3phpb

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

👑

[Yomiuri Giants (EN) @giants_en]

Shunsuke Urata. Stance king.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

@vurnt22 Crazy story, when I was really young I used to watch this Albert Collins video with my father. I thought he was the coolest guy. "Albert Collins doesn't pee his pants" was a sentence my dad said to me when trying to potty train.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

@vurnt22 Just vague enough that people will project their own meaning onto it.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

I have to wear a newsboy hat for a gig so I've been walking around all day saying "Peaky Fuckin' Blinders" @thetrillbillies style

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

@TheSinsOfCinema @vurnt22 It did. At least I remember listening to it. It was short lived unfortunately.

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

[Commercial for a company that’s making Arab-detecting tech for the IDF] We are the problem solvers. The work-all-nighters. The no-days-off-ers. And yeah, occasionally? The last-slice-of-pizza-eaters 😝

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

2nd place if half the team overperforms

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Orioles are 4th place in the AL East

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Your "i am not a pedo" t-shirt has me asking a lot of questions

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Nobody has fought harder for full release of the Epstein files and prosecutions of those who abused children more than I did, knowing full well that the legacy media, far-left propagandists and those who are actually guilty would:

1. Admit nothing
2. Deny everything
3. Make counter-accusations against me

I knew that I would be smeared relentlessly, despite never having attended his parties or been on his “Lolita Express” plane or set foot on his creepy island or done anything wrong at all.

Nonetheless, the extreme pain of being accused of being the opposite of who I am was worth it.

The strong must protect those cannot protect themselves, especially vulnerable children. I will gladly accept any amount of future pain to do more to protect kids and give them a chance to grow up and have happy lives.

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

There are still mfers with Ape pfps

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Came here to look at elons mentions

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Shit I was too late

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

@elonmusk Congragulations

[CASINO CAVIAR @Yamscasino]

You gonna look me in the eyes on my face and say it doesn’t matter if immigrant kids die and I’m supposed to just go “agree to disagree my man. I bid you farewell!”

You understand that god needs to destroy you, right?

[Lick Broccoli @fanofhats]

Things that should kill themselves

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

BREAKING: 51% chance the U.S. strikes Iran tonight.