Fantasy Grandma

Grandmas for everyone.

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Excited to announce that you can now order an FG T-shirt, just like grandson @Deansheremet
https://t.co/vweEyPZEaR

[EpicLLOYD @TheEpicLLOYD]

Mother Teresa really knows how to hand out a lickin’ #epicrapbattlesofhistory @fantasygrandma https://t.co/yWjEBmHaRi

[Bruce Daniels @brucedaniels]

This is happening tonight. @AkbarLosAngeles 8pm FREE. #freecomedy

[Beth Newell @bethnew]

this presidential alert feels so much like when people's emotionally abusive ex's pop up to say "hey just checking in"

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Lineup announced for @BushwigFestival 2018 and Fantasy Grandma is back to love you up more, grandbabies! Get ready for mouthfuls of Grandma’s special jello, birthday checks raining from… https://t.co/TI71xtmnSO

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

USC Gynecologist Accused of Misconduct Blames Jealous Old Ladies With Loose Vaginas https://t.co/EJGQ3xVsSj via @jezebel

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth

[Naomi Ekperigin @Blacktress]

There's a 15-min wait at Denny's, which is all the proof I need that LA is just the suburbs.

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

If I really saw a rabbit lay an egg I would think that bunny wunny is constipated.

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Someone just tried to pinch me for not wearing green so I screamed “I have a staph infection from the nursing home! And that’s plenty green trust me!” And that stopped them. And that is the true meaning of #StPaddysDay

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

How do I get rid of this junk mail? I can’t find all my emails from The Pottery Barn and Urgent No Subject Line in all this mess.

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Come get this grandma sweetness tonight @cobraclubbk #fmvaudeville @TanyaZSolomon

[Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA]

Happy Valentines Day to all the soulmates who get to spend every moment together nestled inside the warm glow of eternal love

[cella 🤌 @mikeVcella]

Jay-Z getting tweeted at by Trump means that for the first time ever, a bitch is one of his problems

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Love watching men mop furiously in sexy pants. https://t.co/D8zzo6shZx

[The Cut @TheCut]

Norway’s curling team knows how to have a good time #Olympics https://t.co/mmVp0gPVN6

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

If you’re a lazy lover 364 days out of the year, today is the day to spring for the Whitman’s Sampler. #HappyValentinesDay #dobetter

[Tyler Coates @tylercoates]

A fun party game I invented a few years ago is called "Name Five Famous Straight, White Men On Whom You'd Put Your Unending Stamp of Approval."

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

You can also spray his surroundings with a healthy dose of Pam. Then you can just tump him out of his mold onto a plate. https://t.co/j7cXzfViU8

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Let him sit and cool for about twenty minutes before you try to suspend the mandarin oranges in his quivering body. https://t.co/jSfAcwzRw9

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Let him sit and cool for about twenty minutes before you try to suspend the mandarin oranges in his quivering body. https://t.co/jSfAcwzRw9

[The Hill @thehill]

Schumer tears into Trump: Working with him is like "negotiating with jello" https://t.co/7rJdCgRd3x

[Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy]

At first everyone laughed at Miriam’s coaster idea. Then they kept laughing.

[Fantasy Grandma @fantasygrandma]

Grandma was a “2017 Snap Of The Year” and a seamstress once. #snapchat #grandma #snapoftheyear