Faux David Breslauer

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

Sometimes in society you need a filter or referee to keep the conversation from nosediving

[David Breslauer @davidNbreslauer]

.@jaltma told me not to think about my tweets and just tweet. that’s the tweet.

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

Yeah, wtf dude?

[Dan Widmaier 🧬/acc @dwidmaier]

Really @davidNbreslauer… in a 12 tweet thread?

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

I punched the Coronavirus in the face today. Felt good. The world is safe from that skunky water in my fridge now. #dnbfacts

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

My research into astrology has revealed that #SARS_COV_2 fears pumpkin pie. Time to make pumpkin pie for victory #victory #dnbfacts

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

I’ve stocked up the whole pantry with Flamin’ Hot Cheetoes for this shelter in place order. As I’ve empirically dertermined that coronaviruses HATE Cheeto dust fingers #dnbfacts

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

WFH tip. Always plan ahead for your Zoom meetings with proper lighting, sound and effects to show off your rugged jaw line. #dnbfacts

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

In addition to being a powerful natural aphrodisiac, my chest hair naturally repels coronovirii up to two meters. #dnbfacts

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

Mine is bigger

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

I was totally into this first

[David Breslauer @davidNbreslauer]

Reposted by @MartinStarr! I’m done for the day.

Maybe #sciencetwitter will appreciate my “Nitrogen Valley” joke. That was an Instagram fail.

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

“We still have a great twitter banter”. @davidNbreslauer HECK YES WE DO!

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

No no, don’t be too hard on ourself. I look dashing next to a global icon #metime

[David Breslauer @davidNbreslauer]

#tbt to when fashion icon @DVF visited @boltthreads labs and I had hoodie hair 👨‍🔬👩🏻‍🔬
#throwbackthursday

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

@davidNbreslauer @dwidmaier @boltthreads Lord only knows what I have stored away

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

Shit got real today

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

.@realDonaldTrump I peed on a confederate moument today. What are you going to do about it?

[Dan Widmaier 🧬/acc @dwidmaier]

I don't often give public talks about Refactored, but when I do I prefer @SynBioBeta Use promo GSWidmaier50 http://t.co/fD5fRaYNxX

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

.@dbresl and now I am the real dbresl! “@AlanaLerner: @laneweaverz @7x7 @fauxdbresl I am in for Monday! Let's do it! #fishbowltrivia ”

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

"Why wasn't there a menu so we could stop gorging ourselves on brusslesprouts?" #refactoredswatchmas

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

What a wild night! #YOLO

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

And I'm home to SFO, loose on the Tarmac and running in my birthday suit. Until next time @probonogeek and @SarahSommeliera #breslauervaca

[Faux David Breslauer @fauxdbresl]

Back to my hiding spot in @probonogeek's luggage. Hope he doesn't mind that I borrowed his bathing suit today #breslauervaca