Fake Marissa Mayer

CEO of Yahoo. Powerful and wealthy. Created Google homepage. Enjoys face time.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

I'm sorry your newTwitter profile isn't as magnificent as mine, but keep trying! I believe in you.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Sorry I haven't tweeted in a while but I've been negotiating my diamond parachute. 186 million dollar, holla?
https://t.co/D2RHimMR8N

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

I don't like much but the #snickerslive ad with Adam Driver was one of the best Super Bowl spots #snickers #SuperBowl #ad

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Did I fire some men? Yes but they were mostly pussies. https://t.co/hsAjuf9soz

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

I'm staying, bitches. And had I not bought Tumblr then Verizon would have paid only $3.83 BILLION
https://t.co/tmSMVTKSX5

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

@latimes can you hear me now, bitches? #verizon #sign #here

[Quartz @qz]

Maybe Yahoo is worth $8 billion after all https://t.co/xBPwy6Ckdz

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

@mims @sammcooney @business I'd like to see journalists try to exit.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Heads up that @yahoo will not be celebrating the holidays in December, and I will be delivering my twin girls at my desk.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Is my laugh irritating? Someone said it was irritating and this is now at the top of Reddit. https://t.co/gR5tWKu3e9

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

OMG I was tweeting to the wrong account for the past 3 MONTHS! Ugh--must have been the #Ambien or the fact that I #outsource everything.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

This is what happens when you cross me. You "quit" like Chritiano Amoruso http://t.co/0LS3RrwaK0

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

@ladygaga Looking forward to you killing it tonight with TB!

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

"@Forbes: Why this is the best time ever to strike out on your own: http://t.co/HTd74DoCmw" Hmmmm...

[Forbes Tech @ForbesTech]

Larry Ellison's was one of the biggest CEO departures of 2014: http://t.co/ErEDrLzPcU

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

"@gigaom: Google’s new troubleshooting app for Android will give you a call https://t.co/Sob7pVOFKV by @kifleswing" #creepy #bigbrother

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Stoked that Yahoo and Firefox are teaming! I'm looking to partner with additional third-tier companies like Sprint, Nestle and Levitra.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

Quick trip to London to make me feel civilized. #paddingtonbear #whydotheycallarugularocket?

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

@nytimes He's an actor, not a mutant.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

I really wish I hadn't fired all of the Yes Men at #yahoo! I could really use an 'atta girl right now.

[Fake Marissa Mayer @fauxmayer]

@karaswisher @KimKardashian I'll save you some time: no.