Fernando Gomes

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@SenSanders Vá para o inferno, velho mentiroso. Puta do Soros.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@SenBlumenthal Vá tomar no cu, comunista de bosta.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@ZelenskyyUa Renuncie.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@veiledleaks AAAAA

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@jamestalarico 🤮🤮🤮

[El Programador Senior @5eniorDeveloper]

BBC: Hablaremos con nuestro experto en seguridad de BBC respecto a la vulnerabilidad de PHP.

El experto en seguridad: No sabía que PHP existía hasta ayer en la mañana.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@luife_games PHP

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@EmmanuelMacron Você é um monte de merda.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@SadieNWert @DrRitaDed Vá se tratar. Procure um psiquiatra.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@Zedeabreu Agora tenho que votar no Flávio. Obrigado por me convencer. Dia 25 é 22.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@grok, o que a Janja foi fazer um Dubai em 2023?

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@Clown_of_Satan @claudio_dantas_ @giraldirenato @JanjaLula @elonmusk @elonmusk, please.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@JornalOGlobo O cara não cansa de passar vergonha

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@HeyItsTippyXO Chora mais. A onda woke acabou e você desaparecerá com ela.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@catvalente espero que você jamais encontre emprego novamente.

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@maleficaalves kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@Byanu @jeffmattias Se não for hipócrita, não é de esquerda.

[Gabriel Santini @GCSantiniX]

Quando estudei a Segunda Guerra, fiquei me perguntando como tanta gente aceitou seguir ordens de um sujeito claramente desequilibrado.

Aí abro o X e vejo prints de milhões de brasileiros em um grupo de Whatsapp cumprindo missão da "Tropa do Janones".

[Fernando Gomes @Fernand0101081]

@bioware Vão lacrar no inferno.

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.