Yeeeeeah I was 21.
But then I remembered all the many times I had been there for myself ever since I was a small girl.
And I realised that any self inflicted injury for whatever reason would be the most unkind way to thank the one person who had carried me through everything (me).
I changed.
I became deeply self sufficient.
Fell so deeply in love with myself
Everyone around me including my parents, my husband, my kids all became added bonuses.
I never need another person to make me whole.
I became my own best company and best friend.
There are things I have done with women that I wake up to hit my head against the wall everytime I remember them. Bwana this thing called love is very Umbwedede. Kuna wakati ati sasa tumeenda picnic nayeye. Dont judge me,it made alot of sense then when i was still a kafukuswi. Tumebeba mabisquit,yoghurt,tujuice na maji,tukaenda huko Thika. Kuna mahali mnakaa namna hii mnaona tu maji inamwagika kwa cliff, waterfall. Na pia tumebeba shuka tumekaa chini namna hii sasa tunaongelea the future tukiumishana crisps, ninaona kweli hapa ikienda chini hatuwes pata watoto chini ya tano. Saa hiyo ni end month mhindi amenitwanga my honest 17,500kenyattas.
I was in love,yani mpaka sasa tulikua tumediscuss na tukaamua firstborn tunaita yeye Q,ndio watu waniitange babacue,woi! Jamaa wa pickup Wakanigongea baada ya miezi tatu aki mungu wangu, hardware nilikua naekelea simiti sita kwa mabega napanda mpaka 7th floor. Bwana There is a reason jesus never had a female disciple,wangevunja yeye roho arudi binguni na miaka nineteen. Bwana i even suspect ruto is a woman
I call it the curse of wanderlust; the pursuit of a soul that escaped at birth. New apartment every 2 years, never committing to a relationship, impulse buying tendencies, of things you don't need but help you visually escape the rut you're in. Forever a guest in your own life.
This is why I like a little crooked. A little bruised. A little lost. Those who've had to crawl out of darkness, alone and bleeding; know to celebrate the gifts of nature just a little bit more. The wind on the trees, the sun on the shoulders. A little light everyday.
I do not know about high IQ, but I prefer solitude for the simple fact that I cannot sustain performances inherent to socialization for extended periods of time. There is a mechanical theater to social groups that bows to imaginary hierarchies, which I want no part in.
I refuse to be defined by any other than subjective thoughts and actions. I am convinced that it is this that guarantees my agency; and agency affords me the courage to think and act for myself. When your motivations are extrinsic (such as is with social validation), you will inevitably succumb to mimicry, which will be mirrored in your moral compass and even priorities.
Lastly, critical thinking is a systematic process that demands a careful, amoral consideration of facts. Social biases compromise this process by centering the need to belong over truth in facts. For high IQ personnel (any out there) - I imagine - this systemic mind mapping is the very fuel for their existence as they seek to answer the "why" of life. If they submitted to the whims of social validation, they would, in effect, be committing suicide.
I made peace with impermanence, with the inevitability of change. Life, for me, has been a collection of moments—to gather as many good ones as I can. I don't know what that makes me: broken, coward, nonchalant, selfish. But I know this much. I'll always be true to the moment.
It's easy to succumb to the notion, that only lasting things were ever truly real. Yet even we, in these bodies, have to go at some point: does it mean we never existed? That our joys and sorrows after our demise were any less compelling than the living?
I don't want to center permanence in my relationship with people, or with the world around me. Especially, when the only thing that permanence guarantees me is impermanence. If I were immortal, I might cling to these fleeting waves more.
But I'll die. I might as well live. Even if just a little. And it will bruise some people, and I'll get bruised. I think that's what they call living.
That's what they call living: the laughs between the bruises. The bruises too.
Men,
MENTAL WELLNESS is when you:
• Say NO
• Leave without begging
• Stick to your values
• Embrace silence and boredom
MENTAL FITNESS is when you:
• Walk
• Lift
• Read
• Journal
MENTAL HEALTH begins when you:
• Meditate
• FAST
• Restrict reckless ejaculation
Guard your mental frame.
#MasculinitySaturday
Real attraction is rooted in respect, consistency, and emotional discipline ... not just desire. The real flex isn’t how many people want you, it’s how few truly have access to you.... It’s being respected in silence, admired without exposure, valued even when you’re unavailable. Because anyone can want your body… but it takes a different kind of person to love your soul.... The one who doesn’t chase instant gratification, but shows up with patience, protection, and peace....
Lust is easy. Love requires effort....and that’s the difference between being wanted and being chosen.
~Alex Combs
Hello Stranger, Called Jaymoh, allow me to tell you a story. When I was 26 years, I owned only an extension(yes, for electricity), by 27 years 9 months, I had a million in my account. By 28 years 5 months, I had less than 100k. By 30 years, I had built my mum a house.
A thread.
Wanateta kuhusu hiyo golf skirt nilivaa for rugby
Wakiona the tennis skirt version enye nilikuwa nivae na inafagia haga si wataniita the hoe of hoes😂
Mind you both of them have shorts inside