Homer J. Fong

what the hell, I'll just eat some trash

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

@ChemicalCowgrl yes

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

@kickeep well now we gotta see

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

take notes ✍🏻

[Evan @evanjmader]

spongebob is the yellow one patrick is the pink one

[Evan @evanjmader]

spongebob is the yellow one patrick is the pink one

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Barista: Welcome back! Overflowing bowl of cream right?

Me: No.. why do you always guess that? I've never ordered that

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

@jvssixa489 really good

[shallow white woman @fragrancewife]

The government wants to take away your right to have sex in cars, you should be mad about this

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

@itsonlyaubrey I only cross my Zs, not my 7s

[Toby 🛩️ @303SnowWolf]

These idiots don’t even merge, they just roll down the on ramp at 30mph and look at traffic like this

[GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15 @giveitupfor15]

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

[mario @sageemarioo]

you genuinely can’t make maryland drivers up

[POiSON GiRL FRiEND @sweetpianofairy]

Girls with bangs be fixing them in the wind like a fat guy fixing his shirt when he falls

[Sophie @oldhagposting]

I have a lot of expenses coming up so it’s a beautiful time to remind everyone that for $40 you could be the owner of one of my famous Big Ol’ Cigs and for $0 you could retweet this and help me find someone who’d like to own one

[𝕲𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖘𝖊 @GhostHause]

The Dad Gods smiled on me today and I got to pull off a masterpiece:

My kid turned 12 today and he asked us for a cassette player for his birthday. I got him this new Walkman thing and whatever tapes I had managed to scavenge secondhand.

He asked if we could find Megadeth “Rust In Peace”, and I said I think I used to have it, so I got my Dad to bring over a box of my old tapes.

I looked in the box and was blessed with a once in a lifetime opportunity for an organic, analog Rickroll.

I called him over all excited, “Oh! I’ve found that Megadeth, pal!” and hit him with this bad boy. Feels good, you guys.

[Homer J. Fong @gcm116]

@10000000bees tweet went crazy in the "can't read" community (also happy birthday!!)

[Big Nate Season 2 @ndogid]

Everyone hates me and wants me dead and also they think I'm gay and, also, on top of everything else, I'm balding.

[JimothysStuff @wesomest]

discord needs better developers because how have dms been down for 3 months

[Jace Avery @lemonpartyshow2]

In this scene in American Gangster (2007) the gun was never supposed to go off. Without telling the crew, Denzel Washington improvised and blew Idris Elba’s brains out to elicit real shock from the extras. The director liked it so much he decided to keep it in the movie.

[💧Blue📯Flame💎 @sapphirecyan333]

The cure to the male loneliness epidemic is gay butt sex