Gaviria

The last air bender.
Aaang mwitu.

[Eric @amerix]

There is no reward for being a nice guy.

[Gaviria @gechkah]

@Josh001J You're reasoning is questionable 👎🏿

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kama kawaida vijana,Our time to eat good again has arrived. Tomorrow we will be attending the Nairobi city Marathon once again. Not to run,but to chase. Tulisema apa ndio tunapata financially stable women with disposable income to hold us through these tough kasongonomic times. Sasa wale vijana watafuata maagizo ya mhenga,mjue hii August inaweza wapata kule mpumalanga Johanesburg kwa kina Dj Uncle wafos mkiskiza Amapiano in a house balcony in the middle of a game park. Courtesy of a strong independent woman from upper kabete

Tulisema siri ni kutegea hawa wako nyuma,hawa ata hawakiambiangi,the obese,they are here to waste time jogging because they don’t have anything to do on sunday. Sasa wewe uko hapo kuwapa moyo,ukimtolea methali, “haba na haba hujaza kibaba mrembo,lets go” ukikaa kidogo unaongeza ingine, “baada ya dhiki faraja mrembo” . Remember to call her mrembo,even if shes 65 years old,they love that.

Inturn as you’re walking,shes going to point and ask you, “weh,do you know I am old enough to be your mother,ebu stop playing” If shes smiling while saying this,bas! Umegonga ndipo.

Now reply and say “miaka yangu ililiwa na nzige” . Shes not supposed to understand what that means so she’ll ask what? This is how you start a conversation. Mwambie ulichelewa kuzaliwa,lakini makosa niya wazazi. Hapa sasa she will acknowledge this guy has wisdom,I wonder what else hes going to say. And she will tolerate you,she lowers her guard

Na tulisema Wale wako huko mbele wachana nao,hao ni walalahoi. Wamelipiwa na kampuni,hao wacha wang’enganie kushinda pesa. Sisi mambo yetu iko huku nyuma.

And make sure you have also talked about manly things like How you know a friend who was working in a Ukranian Drone manufacturing company,and you buried him recenly in kisii after he was killed by Russian spys in Mozambique

Now In finishing of the running,itakua saa saba ivi,hand her your phone,ask her for her number,,mwambie wewe ni fitness coach. Ama basket ball coach,and you’ll be happy to help her burn a few callories since you dont have much to do. Akikupea namba kesho,Dont text her,text her on Tuesday,ndio asione kama uko desperate eh?. She’ll take some time to think,and then answer on Tuesday evening,

Na juu anajifanya ataki mambo mingi,she’ll tell you to come to be training her at home,on Saturdays. She has a big compound,Theres no way shes driving her Land Rover to your gym (that doesn’t exist) in uthiru to train. Ingia youtube hiyo usiku angalia mastyle.

After 3 sessions kule karen,you must intentionally erect,Amusha kitu! and she sees it,and then you’ll tell her “jesus! This never happens” pretend you’re ashamed. Tell her theres something about her,you just don’t know what. She’ll tell you its okay

Sasa baada ya hapa,niyeye huwa anakutega. She will start by overfeeding you. Baada ya hapa ni mauwano! Na hiyo shamba lazima ulime msuri ndugu yangu,sababu hiyo ndio inaamua sasa kama next week unakula kabeji bila nyanya ama coconut fish and salad.

Wuui! Sema kimeumana. Ukipita mtihani sasa kazi yako itakua kumuombea kikongwe wako asimaliswe na diabetes angalau uenjoy maisha london kidogo. Ukingojea ile kazi ya NGO alikuambia atakuconnect. Hapa naye utakua unamkumbusha kumeza dawa buana. Juu akikufa unajua kile kinangoja apa nje. Ainuliwe yeesu!

[KIJANA WA ATWORI 🔸 @AtworiYa]

Mmezidi sasa ...😂

[Gitz  @Gitz__]

Africans should normalize assassinating presidents.

[Eric @amerix]

The outcome of anything you do, is directly proportional to the depth of your discipline.

The shallower the discipline, the shallower the outcome.

[Gaviria @gechkah]

@VIVIANWERE2 A sewing needle 🪡

[jacob juma @kabetes]

You can rob Kenyans of their taxes, threaten them, imprison them, kill them, and masquerade as a leader but one day, you will also perish.

[Ja Leto @_falsi1ke]

The reason why a goat has a rope around its neck is not the same reason why a dog has a chain around its neck.

[Lawrence Kitema @lawrencekitema]

The day a blind man sees, the first thing he throws away is the stick that has helped him all his life.

—African Proverb—

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

Employment is a contract, not a favor. Your salary is payment for your work, not a gift. An employer is never your friend

[Gaviria @gechkah]

@Griz_zly8 Nlishikwa juu ya drunk driving apo pango... Karibu nizame kamiti joh....

[Halimah Salmah @MaleAdvocate28]

It's Rude to ask for a favor from someone you don't check on.

And it's more rude to check on someone when you need a favor.

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

When driving at night, you sometimes deliberately let another car go ahead of you so it acts as your "guinea pig". If they hit a bump or a pothole, you know it’s time to slow down

[𝗩𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘀 @VictorWins_]

Ndio natoka kinyozi,a lady barber amenitoa from solid 1.0 to a liquid 0.5. Hata sijajaa ngori,nimeskia akisema wantam 😂.

[Chalkman🎱🎲 @matt_mk14]

Kuhepa mitego, Riswa!

[Pablo 🎱 @supuypweza]

Wdym uko suicidal at 20, just do drugs like the rest of us you coward.

[Mummy Success @ProbablyDafe]

Worse than a nigga that pays for sex is the nigga that pays in hopes of sex.

Double homicide.

😂😂😂

[Gaviria @gechkah]

@ItsAbmok @EricNyagaG2 Na pocha ulipiga na nini?

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

The salary I make now would’ve solved every financial issue I had 10 years ago. Not anymore. So no, we’re not lazy or living above our means. We’re being denied the means to live.