The Thirst Lady

Bringing nothing to the table since 1980™

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

Ever been late to a meeting bc you were too busy trying to figure out what word was being spelt out on that tv show “Lingo”? Me neither.

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

“Single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water.” 🥴
This would make a wild episode of “Who do you think you are?”

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Charles the Il of Spain was the result of nearly 200 years of inbreeding. The House of Habsburgs stopped introducing new genes at around 1550, leading to a circular family tree.

Charles II was born as the product of an uncle-niece relationship, and historians Will and Ariel Durant vividly described him as "short, lame, epileptic, senile, and completely bald before 35, always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live."

Before reaching the age of six, Charles II miraculously survived a series of diseases, including chickenpox, measles, rubella, and smallpox. He faced numerous physical challenges, as he couldn't walk until the age of eight and struggled to chew food independently. His enlarged tongue made his speech unintelligible to others.

The papal nuncio Millini provided a detailed description of Charles II, stating, "The king is rather short, skinny, but not badly formed, only ugly in the face; he has a long neck, a long face, a long chin and as if it bent upwards; the lower lip typical of the Habsburgs; not very large eyes, turquoise blue, and a fine and delicate complexion. He has a look with melancholy on his face and a little astonished. His hair is blond and long, and it is combed back so that the ears are exposed. He cannot stand upright unless he leans against a wall, a table, or something else. His body is as weak as his mind. Occasionally, he shows signs of intelligence, memory, and a certain liveliness, but not consistently; he usually appears slow and indifferent, seemingly dumbfounded. You can do whatever you want with him since he lacks his own will."

Charles II's death in 1700, at the age of 39, triggered the War of Spanish Succession and marked the end of the House of Habsburgs. His autopsy report revealed distressing findings, stating that his "heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water."

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@SianChristinaK Thank god it’s not just me. I remember once I wanted to add another bagel to my order after I’d ordered, but didn’t bc I didn’t want them yelling that out too, so I just bought a packet of bagels and made a salmon one at home 🥴

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@Rarerecordings_

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@cassieroma I remember at primary school we had a crazy elderly substitute teacher, who was furious they hadn’t given her our curriculum notes & so instead she made us sing carpenters songs all day. Every time I hear a song of theirs I think of her. 😅

[Tom Knowles @tkbeynon]

There’s this guy on TikTok who does nursery rhymes in the style of his favourite bands and the production standards are insane. This Mumford and Sons style rendition of You Are My Sunshine is genuinely as good as a song they would release

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@Moce_Doce Yup, I’m paying $4600… judging by what’s being said, it’ll go past $5k next year. It’s insane… and that’s just in Avondale. We get sweet fa return on that from Council out our way for those rates too. I earn good money, but if I wasn’t we’d be royally screwed.

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

I just had to check when winter is supposed to start in NZ bc this weather can just get in the bin.
I was only here 2 weeks ago, but sure it’s good to be back in NZ. 😭

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

I finally got around to watching “Everything Everywhere at Once” and, yeah… I wanted to like it, but it just wasn’t for me. #unpopularopinion

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@tinopai Good ol, Desley. 😂 I’m disappointed though, as she’s worn far better designer outfits at Council meetings. Maybe she’s saving those for future floods. 🥴

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@beingahouse Oh good, so it wasn’t just me reading it going “wait, what?!”the whole way through. Such a strange article.

[Mark Nelson @marknelsoncomic]

Charles and Camilla not wearing seatbelts in the carriage.

Lovely wee tribute to Diana there.

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

That voice.. 🤌🏼

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

Being back home in Tonga is always good for the soul, but today is the bit I hate… it’s nearly time to ugly cry saying goodbye to everyone before I fly out.

[Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch]

Very much enjoyed this video of Adam Sandler and Jen Aniston being shocked by the size of an Australian reporter

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@Moce_Doce Aww… congrats. Glad to hear the potato arrived safe & sound. Hope Mum & Dad are all good too. 😊💕

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

Go girl, give us nothing… 🥴😳

[Kyle Gacheru @KyleGacheru]

Wow. Got to be the worst national anthem performance I’ve ever watched 😭 #ITAENG

[Billy Bragg @billybragg]

Bit of night time industry solidarity after the show tonight in Wellington where the local strippers are out protesting for fair contracts and labour rights outside Calendar Girls strip club. #ThereIsPowerInAUnion https://t.co/TiryOnoFLl

[The Thirst Lady @ginblossom]

@WeatherWatchNZ A huge thank you for all the coverage over this shittacular week. My 92 year old father (and former sailor) obsesses about weather at the best of times, and has truly appreciated your coverage over anyone else’s. Keep up the great work.

[michael. @homebodymike]

ASAP Rocky's sperm cells

https://t.co/9LMcMlF5nr