Garrett Kelly

Aspiring

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@AlertsCTA On the CTA, not on this account trying to do their job for them

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@AlertsCTA Horrific service to not have any updates, absolutely zero communication to passengers stuck for an hour and a half. There were elderly people who were confused and getting overheated. Not a single CTA worker in sight to help communicate or direct.

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@colonistio Would love to have the dice/resource stats from games be exportable to excel fyi…

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@CGordMac @TosinMoBetta Everything everywhere all at once, Dr. Strange, this James Webb bullshit, play something new!

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

80% of my texts are authentication codes. I’m very popular with logins.

[ThePulpitFilm @ThePulpitFilm]

Big news! We've almost reached $20 THOUSAND DOLLARS in fundraising in just THREE DAYS!  And that is only because of YOU and your generosity.

Now will you share this Kickstarter with 3 or 4 friends?
https://t.co/DVhONpDEsf

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@CGordMac I’ve got some unopened bowls from 5 years ago if you want

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

When I die, bury me in chicken strips

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

Maybe we were a little too harsh on Rebecca black #usoshowtroupe

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

A lot of “happy belated’s” coming tomorrow

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@SHornet07 @UptownDC_Rich Passédkzxxzzsaaayyy ya see cccivcccsxy za kzs huh Icon I cikikhk

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

Take me back to the Berenstein timeline

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@DylMorgan Hello! I am simultaneously a student in a writing class while also being a fan. I'm writing a spec script for The Good Place and think The Trolley Problem is an amazing episode. Is it possible to send me a copy of that script, so I can get a feel for the format?

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

All my stains are ketchup #sorryforpartying #singleandsassy

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

About to pretend my breakfast brownie is a square muffin.

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

Remember: It's a breakup, not a breakdown.

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

@sstapleton10 I don't know about the 6 pack abs. I went to the gym today and tore my will power.

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

An ugly person has never gotten off at the armitage, Diversey or Wellington stop. #ctafacts

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

When I'm talking, 85% is joking the other 15% is ordering food.

[Garrett Kelly @gksecrets]

My new diet: Every time I see the word "large" I replace it with regret