Human Mother

Dog Aficionado. SPF Connoisseur. Birkenstock Believer. Future DILF of Disneyland.

Opinions are my own

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

I have run out of leftover stuffing

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@ItsTheWaxman @rodb Rodman, Dennis Keith (that's your full christian first name)

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@BreezyGlf @RobbyBerger $20+ for shipping a hat in the continental US ain't it, chief.

I am a big fan and very much want to support the Filet O' Fish fund, but I'm not a $60 for hat kind of guy

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@IwriteOK the episode about the Indian hacking mogul is already down on Spotify?

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@broliviah gonna need you to calm down chief, save some wildin for the rest of us

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@WaveConnects Please provide a public status update on this outage, I'm in 98119 and I've been without Internet for at least 24 hours.

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

Thanks a lot @SouthwestAir for not letting me check my infant. The sticker fits around his head and I even brought a duffel bag to put him in. His name is Floursack.

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

.@RobbyBerger @bobdoessports
For the love of JC* please make this logo into an embroidered hat. Work with @EFF_Co and make the best goddamn hat in golf and the world. Make different color ways, blow our goddamn socks off Robert

*Joseph Coldcuts

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@WyrmwoodGaming y'all got some empty assets on your website

https://t.co/thznpPZIAq

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

1. The grass ain't always greener
2. You're doing just fine
3. Thank you
4. Multhazar the dark Lord has R̵̮̺̳̆̕ ̴͉̦͐͗͘I̴̧̩̩̐̆̑ ̶̗̒S̶͈̳̉ ̴͇̺̤̈͑E̸̺͑͘ ̴̧̤̅̿N̷̖̎̂͠
5. Please
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@stacywernick But, like, you should listen to him, he's great

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

.@MoviePass sending an email asking me to come back and join them again is the thirstiest thing I've ever seen

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

#truelife I drank too many June Shines and now I'm drunk and need to poop

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

Look @God one of these days ya gotta cull Henry Kissinger instead of whatever other celebrity you're feeling like taking. Just because Bob Barker was obsessed with pet genitals, doesn't mean he should be severed from this mortal coil before Kissinger.

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@moment Just to clarify, M-Series lenses will not work with T-Series cases?

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@moment will M-Series lenses work in T-Series cases? Or will there be an M-Series case for the Pixel 8/8 Pro? I've got 5 M-Series lenses and would hate for them to be unusable when I get a new phone

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

.@McDonalds out here bringing back #Grimace like it's nbd despite the fact that the US Government executed him for espionage and treason in 2011

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

I have eaten
the billionaires
that were in
the carbon fiber hulled submarine tube

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

.@Twitter really thirsty for the ad revenue huh? Your own fact checking system calling out an ad that you are delivering as a scam is top fucking notch

[Human Mother @goddamnitpg]

@eliseplease I have no idea what green cream is and I'm too afraid to ask