Gretchen Kast

Writer, of sorts.

[Chris Forsberg @ChrisForsberg_]

True to their word. They just wanted to win.

[Hanif Abdurraqib @NifMuhammad]

an abundance of real hoops tonight

[gary washburn @GwashburnGlobe]

The entire #Celtics locker room was locked in on the final minutes of #LSUvsIowa after their win at Charlotte.

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

Jimmy Butler singing Hootie & the Blowfish vs. Jokic being a weird horse girl — how is one supposed to pick?!?

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

Deeply conflicted about the NBA finals because, on the one hand, I hate all the Heat role players for what they did to the Celtics—but on the other hand, the Heat is a team based solely around my two favorite things: charisma and friendship.

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@sassafras_ash omg are you secretly producing this movie?

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@sassafras_ash truly!!

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@sassafras_ash omg the inclusion of mae is INSPIRED

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

they did something on these…

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

Got too much good news in a row today, which meant I had to go test my luck by treating myself to a pricey sandwich that did in fact turn out to be totally mediocre—thereby balancing the scales/protecting me from what I can only imagine would have been an anvil falling on my head

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@CareFirst but actually for real how long should I anticipate waiting on hold today? It was a full hour yesterday before I gave up and today I was simply disconnected after 15 minutes...

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

i get all of my best reading done while on hold for blue cross blue shield's dental services line

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@sassafras_ash a perfect trifecta

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: coffee shops should not be allowed to spring old Youth Lagoon songs on me without warning. How dare you make me feel 22 and emotionally adrift in public??

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

an important fact i learned tonight is that hippos and i basically have the same diet philosophy, which is just "predominantly vegetarian unless eating meat is simply the more convenient option right now" and i love that for us

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

every time new papparazzi pictures of ben affleck smoking cigs drop i am reminded of just how many dreams i've had where he is my uncle. just like regular dreams about my boring life where everything's normal except that famous person ben affleck is there and he's my uncle

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

like, i am 32 and some things are *simply* none of my business

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

saw an exasperated tweet about another exasperated tweet about a video of someone sort of trying too hard to seem cool but in a boring way and it was then i realized that everyone on twitter, myself included, could really benefit from embracing this tumblr energy:

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

@sassafras_ash I watched it on the plane! Can’t wait to rave about it when I get back.

[Gretchen Kast @gretchenkast]

i have been laughing at this tweet for five days consecutively

[Philipp Kostelecky (@PhilComedy on IG) @CheeseCakePCK]

My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”