grace

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International space station is a polycule

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I'm at the pub with the boys lol. Xx

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This tweet is brought to you by my handsome stats prof

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Body count? No babe that's my sample size. I wanna be sufficiently statistically powered when I compliment you in bed!

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I've been to chilis once and it was immediately after I lost my virginity

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If Jews and democrats control the world then why is my fantasy football team exclusively composed of those players doing so badly

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That feeling when youre in the club and you get that visceral bar mitzvah flash back 🤯 #thatfeeling #itsgoingdown #imyellingtimber

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People really sleep on the fact that my childhood home burned down under suspicious circumstances. I have such mysterious lore.

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Oh you had a dream that you kissed your celebrity crush last night? That's nice. I dreamt about Russian geopolitics. My mind is ablaze with solutions.

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Me on a date with Judge Judy

Me: mmmmm this pasta is really good

Judge Judy: I'm gonna bang you like you're my gavel later

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@_millertimeusa Vicious subtweet

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Should I join the ten shirtless 14 year old boys doing parkour on my street rn

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In 10th grade history class I accidentally called carpetbaggers carpet munchers

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@ronnie_dreaming Liked songs shuffle gave me townes van zandt and azealia banks back to back today

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What if we kissed in a Hooverville

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@_ktmsmith @springsteen I'd sell a kidney

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What if I kidnapped The Script and The Fray and made them fight to the death for my entertainment

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What rapscallion is putting 80s porno magazines in the Cambridge little free library?

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Nobody gives the orthodox jews credit for inventing slut strands

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@itsjordanwat Looks like mr. electric from sharkboy and lava girl