Jordan

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

@noahpiou Oh we’re about to fight. NOBODY deserves a Grammy more than Addison Rae. Noah you’re on thin fucking ice keep her name out of your mouth !

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

I’ve never needed anything more

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

we should make an AA for celsius energy drinks

[toe, lover (my leg hurts a lot) @carobunga]

You brake checked me? My baby is car-seatless rolling around the floor like a water bottle, and you brake check me?

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

We’re all about to get mugged this summer

[Aashima Arora @asharoraa]

Venmo/ Revolut: we let friends to send money to each other easily
Apple: hold my beer

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

This video is the single funniest clip I’ve ever seen

[trevor @niaws_t]

i can’t stop thinking about this. why is it so funny? 😭

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

If you don’t hear from me I’ve been abducted by MI:6

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

What if Kate Middleton has just been trying to find the bottom of the bottomless breadsticks at Olive Garden

[Bob @PoopFromDaButt]

why does closing your eyes while you’re driving feel so good

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

Everyone always tells me to get a hobby but when my hobby is lying that’s a problem?

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

I miss when they casted HOT people in block buster movies and high budget tv shows

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

this is why I do not condone bowling! It is far too raw and visible. I will never view the friends I bowl with the same

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

I hold with a high degree of certainty that Dua Lipa has experienced the supernatural, whether a visit from a genie or the gift of immortality, I cannot be sure

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

Everytime I’m hungover I have a vision of myself being airlifted like Katniss after she blew up that fuck ass dome

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

Purring must feel so good as a cat

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

A lot of people don’t bother to be silly and goofy anymore

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

Won’t be doing that but appreciate the support ❤️

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

He jumped into the Charles River? That’s fucking disgusting

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

In 1908, Houdini stood at the edge of the Harvard Bridge—commonly referred to as the Mass. Ave. Bridge—and was shackled by a Boston patrolman. His hands were handcuffed behind his back and chained to a collar around his neck.

According to a Boston Globe article chronicling the feat, a signal was tooted from a towboat, and Houdini went overboard into the chilly waters below.

“There is always the possibility that I will be unable to free myself, as one never can tell what will happen to a lock,” Houdini told the newspaper.

“However, I am a good swimmer, have confidence in myself, and I hope to perform this feat successfully.”

The Globe estimated some 20,000 spectators gathered to see Houdini’s leap, including the mayors of Boston and Cambridge. They waited 40 seconds for the magician to resurface, which he did with the shackles in his hands.

[Jordan @itsjordanwat]

@SarahSenk4 On a Wednesday: lay on the floor of your office before 10am, wins a game pigeon game, swerves a hinge man, sings piano man at karaoke and blacks out at bodega