Guy Who Draws

I draw puns!

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

This June 30: 20 live takes for a limited run of 20 7" singles by my band @icedink - click this link to get yours today, someday it'll be worth tens and hundreds of cents! https://t.co/YUgBBfkvsL #lofirecording #vinylcollector #vinylcollection #vinyllathe

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

For those of you keeping track at home, this is my 4,041th tweet.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

$23 a ticket to support emerging local musicians via @breakingsound events?? “Breaking Bank” is more like it!

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

She’s eyeballing a grrrove of dogwood trees for some clean, solid bark to land on. #pun #punny #beagle #eagle

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

This is my first Tweet in a really long time. I hope that you enjoy it!

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

@MetroTransitMN must’ve handed control of the light rail system over to human garbage with nothing better to do than ride it for free, sleep, drink, shout obscenities, smoke, and shoot up on it. #comeonandtakeafreeride #murderapolis #metrotransit #blueline #safetylastnotfirst

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

@realDonaldTrump https://t.co/zVrbw6UXdf

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

To paraphrase @MotleyCrue: @realDonaldTrump don’t go away mad, #DonaldTrump just go away.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

Check out these awesome holographic stinkers I just got from @stickermule!

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

$50 @MrBungle tickets instantly sold out and are now on reseller sites for $170. Dear @StubHub @ticketkingmn @VividSeats: To quote the late great Frank Zappa, “May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.”

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

It’s as if the sky is trying to cough, sneeze, cry, and fart all forms of precipitation simultaneously. #skychotic #skyarrhea

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

I put my pants on one pair at a time.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

“M” is for the Morning breath I smell on the light rail.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

If you’re behind me at a red light and honk as soon as it turns green, chances are 100% I’ll interpret that as “GO VERY SLOW!”

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

Please confirm that I am not a robot.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

Every time I see a cyclist signaling that they’re turning left, I always look to their left just in case they’re actually trying to point something out.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

I love me some Weezer, but the first time I heard their cover of "Africa" I felt that I'd heard it 1 too many times.

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

@deesnider When you live that way, Things Can Only Get Better. (Sorry, saw the name and couldn’t help myself)

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

I just heard a kid playing Smoke On The Water in Guitar Center. Isn’t there a law against doing that?

[Guy Who Draws @guywhodraws]

I believe you Bruno Mars, so no, I'm not going to watch.