Hailey Hixon

mom to my little, wife to my best friend.

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

Nothing beats being woken up before dawn by your daughter reenacting Simba waking Mufasa with a “you promised!” and a shove.

Unrelatedly, I’m growing ever wary of my younger, less physically impressive brother, @HChixon

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

A piece I wrote on theory of rhetorical situation examining Jaime Lannister.

(spoiler: he deserved better)

https://t.co/HHf8Anshhv

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

From a bio piece I did a year ago:

“...when those strengths were taken from me, I had to find what of me remained. I discovered that it was crucial to remember that yes, I was in a foreign country, but I was still myself.”

https://t.co/w4f0BHaTJs

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

Everyone out here arguing over who blocked the latest stimulus bill and I’m just here eating saltines waiting for the check from the first round stimulus to arrive. Please advise.

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

2 Candidates.
Both accused of sexual misconduct.
Both 70+.
One white; one orange.
One can’t string a sentence together.
One can’t stop saying the sentences.

America: you decide.

[𝓉𝓎𝓁𝑒𝓇 @tyswizzlee]

The Amazon has been burning for 3 weeks, and I’m just now finding out because of the lack of media coverage. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ECOSYSTEMS ON EARTH. SPREAD AWARENESS #PrayforAmazonia

[Jenn Cammel @Jenn_Camm_]

The only relationship I care about this episode #TheBachelorette

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

🗣 On this page we trash @apple but we only buy @Apple I don’t make the rules.

[Hailey Hixon @haileybri747]

@jake_hixon ur dream snack

[Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS]

delete your account, chief

[mustard clown @markydoodoo]

so i have no proof to back this up but i’m pretty sure cowboy bees would say beehaw

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

I rub the stone thrice before I inform my wife I will be eating pizza rolls for dinner or I shan’t be eating at all

[Hailey Hixon @haileybri747]

@jake_hixon I love you lil roasties

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

“I love you 3,000.”

[Jane Greene @JaneGre23729817]

*notre dame burns down*

no one:

every white girl: here is a pic of me in front of notre dame. heartbreaking. but also plz know that I went there. so sad. but also I’ve been to Paris.

[MilfLover69 @Adam_Derpin]

ur telling me a flea runs this market

[jake hixon @jake_hixon]

RIP #sixseasonsandamovie

[Hailey Hixon @haileybri747]

@catherinemaznko Always yes.

[Hailey Hixon @haileybri747]

I married up