Dan

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

@LuluAttack hahaha! yeah youre right. i changed my mind. they should both be sterilised.

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

havent tweeted in a few days coz ive been busy screaming at the fish in the pond outside the local library

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

@LuluAttack cricket & tennis can go fuck each other

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

In England they call French fries "cunts" I think

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies.

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

@OngoingBS i only get that if i glue them to my face like a crazyass beard

[Shane @shanethevein]

I'm slowly weaning myself off of my addiction to Twitter using drugs and alcohol.

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

this ones for colorado

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

thinking about starting a new account. this ones become stale & i think people i know follow me which is weird.

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

if i put my cigarette out on your kids head it means i like you

[Matt Fernandez @FattMernandez]

I always take an axe with me to the gym. Then when someone asks why I'm on the treadmill with an axe, I simply respond "Practice."

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

if i sneeze in your face it means i like you

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

i fucking love beautiful poetry

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

next person to wish me a happy new year gets punched in the fucking nose

[inmynewskin @inmynewskin]

Lord grant me the strength to not alienate and destroy the people I love in 2014

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

just had a look at the "similar to me" tab. you poor motherfuckers...

[Dan @halfpastdaniel]

my little brother was almost beaten up by an old prostitute last nite