Michael Philippides

Stress is fertilizer for creativity

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

I never take marble for granite.

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

Don’t let anyone ruin your day, be a man and ruin it yourself.

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

My favorite coworker is the coffee machine.

[∂ebraℓee @darksidedeb]

I was pissed when I found out being a breadwinner didn't involve any bread.

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

The Wrath Of Kanye #CelebrityAMovieOrShow

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

It happens to the best of us buddy.

[Mario Speedwagon @SilipigniMario]

#ItsTheDayBeforeTheInaugurationAnd all through the White House, some creatures are stirring, but not this louse!

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

Pros and Cons of making food.

Pros: food
Cons: making

[amanda @realmandyrain]

if u wanna impress me w your car, it better be a food truck

[SneezingWithWetMascara @WetMascara]

Of course I stay hydrated, carbohydrated.

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

Dear middle finger, thanks for sticking up for me.

[Barroom Hero 🦬 @UnIxphysco]

I need someone who has a fetish for shoveling snow

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

I’m starting to think we aren’t getting a Trump health care plan

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Damn girl, are you Christmas music, cuz I can only tolerate you for about 4 songs.

[Michael Philippides @haloshoxe]

The Wrath Of Consommé
#SoupyMovieTitles

[mariana Z @mariana057]

If you bite a penny before putting it in your piggy bank you now have 1 bitcoin.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

I thought I couldn't muster up any more fart jokes but then I got a second wind

[Mushrooms & Onions @drewpetrou]

You look more like you belong to cobra chai