hannah

i am me, the universe, and u

[Pree @diabolicalpree]

I have to get gas today

[AGTG @BeenServin]

Every single commercial is for alcohol, glp-1, sports betting, or AI

[ً @artfuIchaos]

"sync your contacts" i'd rather be waterboarded to death actually tysm though

[lobunny @whinybunnny]

it probably feels so good to hit someone in the head with a stanley

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

Humans beings weren't meant to endure this much two factor authentication.

[Michael Calabrese @EastBreese]

October 1st has me like

[g @34rths]

Everything gets revealed to you in a shower while washing your hair

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

You could probably Waterboard a lot of Information out of me. I have a Very low tolerance for Discomfort

[big dog you are mother i mean they @finelylesberg]

both losing and gaining weight suck because you have to buy new pants which is the worst thing that can happen to a person

[ru @ruqaiyalore]

i love #retweeting like yes #approved

[ᯓ @_vPNuser]

we are truly blessed with the amount of ways to eat a potato

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

forget everything i’ve ever said unless it was smart or funny in that case remember it forever

[aisha ⋆﹒༚𓂃⊹ ࣪ ˖ @jirtibby]

the old period stains on my underwear perfectly leading me to where i now should place my pad

[Lynne @_ayandamay]

There is a dangerous little window after I complete one task where I could either become unstoppable or look at my phone.

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

instagram needs to understand that i’d rather jump off the chrysler building than download threads

[serena shahidi @glamdemon2004]

Sometimes an ig reel is funny but I can’t like it because I see which heads are floating above the like button and know I CANNOT be in company like that.

[27. @dimvji]

doomscrolling on twitter instead of ig and tiktok so at least i’m wasting my time intellectually

[Siri 🎀 @Siricc8i]

how it feels wearing anything revealing

[Phil Hoyeck @PAHoyeck]

Hate it when people tell me “That’s a good point.” All my points are good. That’s why I make them.