Top Tweets for #DuhMom
#ZombieFighterToy #dogs 🪖#WrongToyMaker #DuhMom #dogsoftwitter #dogsofX 🫡#ZSHQ #SorrySadie #saturdaymorning 🪖🫡
Well, Mom wasn’t quite awake when she posted yesterday’s Zombie TOYS!! Our sweet frens Sadie, Mocha, Brady & Onyx @Gorillababe made us! Thank you frens! 🪖🫡🪖🫡

Me: Carter, look! We’re gonna be on the @KyleBusch car at @phoenixraceway!
Carter: yeah ok.
Me: aren’t you excited?!
Carter: why? It’s not like it’s @ChaseBriscoe_14, Mom. I was on *his* truck you know.
#duhmom
#loyalfan
#itschaseornothing
#Chasethe14

“I can’t find my birthday basketball” “Which one is your birthday basketball?” “The basketball I got for my birthday” 🙄#duhmom
Taking my 3yo and 6yo to get flu shots this morning and made a ROOKIE parenting move: Told my 3yo about the shot 2 hours before we had to leave. So, class... what do you think my 3yo has been saying for the last hour?
"I don't waaaaanaaa go to the doctorrrrrr." 🙄
#DuhMom
I'm not usually a sucker for branded kids clothes, but slap #NASA on it and my kids will own it. #duhhood #twitchmom #duhmom #marketingworksonme #supportscience
My 6 yo - where can I go to college to learn how to be a gardener, paleontologist, and a farmer at the same time? Me- 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ Her- You should just ask @Google or Siri. So we did. Now she has options. #SmartCookie #DuhMom

McLintock: I have an invisible friend.
Me: Really!? What does he look like?
McLintock: ... I dont know, he's invisible, remember?
Me: ...
#smartass #McLintock #duhmom #smh #wellnow #invisiblefriend #ghostfriends
4yo N is pretending to buy groceries from me...
N: We're making muffins! We need butter, sugar, salt, flour, roundness, and--
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa...what was that last ingredient?
N: ROUNDNESS!!! THAT'S WHAT MAKES MUFFINS ROUND! ...And pumpkin.
#duhMom #roundness
2 yr old: (holding his stuffed Superman) I'm going on a choo choo train!
Me: Really? Is Superman going with you?
Mommy. Superman can fly. (walks away)
#sillymommy #duhmom #toddlerlife #parenting
Heading to Vegas this week to see the @Avalanche and @GoldenKnights in the Fortress. Anyone got the goods on how/when to watch practice/morning skate? Evelyn a little disappointed she can’t just “ride on the plane with the team”?! #logicofan8yearold #duhmom
Max: why is the tree inside?
Me: why do you think the tree is inside (trying to grasp his 2 year old understanding of Christmas)?
Max: because it is dark outside.
#toddlerlogic #duhmom

We’re a resourceful family... Football meets basketball practice #FamilyFun #kidssports #boyswillbeboys #touchdown #duhmom @ Walhalla, South Carolina https://t.co/W9tXP4TXRe
While watching Parenhood with my 11yo daughter
11: Why did he (@daxshepard1) pick those tattoos
Me: I don't know you'd have to ask him
11: Can't we just call and ask him
Me: Um I don't know who you think he is but we can't just call him
11: Duh Mom use Twitter
#DuhMom

Mom: "Careful with my new earrings."
Me: "Why?"
Mom: “Why do you think?"
Me: ”I don't know, I don't know that much about earrings!"
#4yearswise
#duhmom
#straightshootin
@3coolkatz @SkittlesFriends @KittyHavenNY @Flospots @Cleo_sMommy @nesjloch @phycoinsc @SassyCassyCat Youz welcome, Auntie Shanny, Kobe, & Angel! Mom said herz should have known da blankiez herz sent fur staff would be confiscated by da #RoyalCats 😹😹😹 #duhmom Hehe
Showed my mom my Rolling Loud ticket and all she said was “so you’re gonna be high for 2 days straight” #duhmom #ipleadedthefifththo

5 year old: why does little brother taste like chocolate?
Me: um, why did you lick him?
5 year old: because he tastes like chocolate
#duhmom
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