Top Tweets for #HowAmiSingle
I did it again last night
I actively find ways to avoid first dates during football season
“I’m not sure I can make it tonight”
It’s me. I’m the problem 🤣🏈
#HowAmISingle
Just turned down my second “heyyyy Whatya doing tonight” text
Second one I said I was watching at home. She said “oh well would you want to go out and watch?”
I said “it’s already started… maybe tomorrow night if we plan better”
#BachelorSeason
#HowAmISingle
🤷🏻♂️🤣🏈
You have 6 seconds to introduce yourself 👇🏻 what would you say?
Gorgonzola stuffed gnocchi, and with sautéed chef’s mix of wild mushrooms, prosciutto, and a sauce of mascarpone & Gorgonzola, finished with some truffle salt, fresh cracked pepper, & fresh parm… accomplished by an ice cold cherry kriek beer
#omnomnom #howamisingle
On today's episode of Things You Say to People You Like:
"Yeah well my bowels would disagree"
#howamisingle
Dude in my DM’s: “You don’t have a kid?!”
Me: *in my pjs, going to get Chik Fil A at 4pm on a mid Monday.*
“Mmm nope!.”
Him: “Why not?”
Me: “Because I ignore you fools for the real love of my life that ignores me. It’s the cycle of life or whatever.”
💀🤣🤣
#HowAmISingle 🥲
Dude who wants it: “I haven’t drank in a month” Me: “on purpose?” #howamisingle
I sent two insanely long texts describing two of my DnD characters to a girl and she hasn’t replied #dungeonsanddragons #wearenotthesame #howamisingle
It’s a steak, asparagus, mushroom, smoked Manhattan and #BigChill soundtrack kind of night! #ISecondThatEmotion #MedRareFilet #LetsGooo #HowAmISingle haha
This morning was the third time in a week I went to change out of pyjamas and found melted chocolate on my person. #howamisingle
Chicken on the BBQ, jalapeño margarita on the rocks, @DwightYoakam on the tune box, preach ice cream on the churn. ##allthingson #saturdaynight #howamisingle 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 God Bless America!!!
I just sipped some of the broth, it's Britney bitch, I did it again. #HowAmISingle
Made my own birria and I can't wait.
I don't want to cause a mad rush into my DMs, but I am a slightly-above-average attorney who just washed his bedding, did a week's worth of meal prep, and cleaned out his two cats' litter boxes. #howamIsingle
I like that my roommate has finally stopped questioning when I’m cooking. Took him over 10 years of knowing me to finally realize when it comes to cooking I damn well know what I’m doing. #imacatch #andicancooktoo #howamisingle
Courtney told me I look like neapolitan ice cream and like I'm not even mad because that means I look delicious 🤷🏾♀️ #getonmylevel #howamisingle 😂😂😂
When he says he’s bought, downloaded and streamed “Saint of the sinners” 😏😏😏😏
https://t.co/sqQYv2t6UL
#yesthisishowiflirt #howamisingle
Las Vegas just reinforces the fact that I have the attention span of a toddler, income of a 12 year old and body of a 90 year old who eats bacon cheeseburgers every day.
#howamisingle
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