Top Tweets for #OfKent
🚨URGENT COMMUNIQUE🚨
Visa applications are OPEN for the following categories of US citizens under immediate threat from their own govt:
1. Non-neo Nazis
Faxed applications only
No deadline but hurry before they come for you
Choppers are airborne
#KentishHumanity
#OfKent
@PhilipColbourn NO complacency when it comes to simply creating a better world for everybody
#KentishClarityOfPurpose
#OfKent
TO BE CLEAR
Kentish policy (of Kent) is pro-growth
We invaded East Sussex, we have our eyes on Surrey, if London fancies seceding from the UK, fine, we'll have it
We'd even consider an arms length shared-sovereignty arrangement with Essex
#GrowtheKentishPie
#OfKent
@DavidHenigUK Tell us about it.
Our trade policy is simple:
1. grow cobnuts*
2. use cobnuts to manufacture premium goods (and ^services^)
3. export said goods (and ^services^) to Britain at inflated prices you can ill afford
4. repeat
*and some hops
#KentishRulesOfOrigin
#OfKent
Proposed Kentish name (of Kent) changes:
Westminster > Oastminster
Wandsworth > Cobnutsworth
Barnet > Stationarycarnet
#KentishAnnexationOfLondon
#OfKent
Kentish Town (of Kent) will obviously become the new imperial capital (within a capital)
Misusing pictures of nurses & pizza to make political points is a fascinating tactic even for Mr Johnson’s oddball followers
The British must surely look upon what their society has become and ask “how do they become so radicalised?”
#ThankHeavensForKentishIndependence
#OfKent
@sophielouisecc This photograph features our staff and was taken in March 2020, before the law prevented social gatherings so no rules are being broken here. Our staff worked tirelessly during the pandemic and followed all guidance. To suggest otherwise is misleading & does not represent reality
@DaithidePaor14 @aaronsporter03 @BorderKent Part d: If Rene drinks 2 pints of water a day and is 5 miles back in the queue how many empty bottles of piss will he throw out of the window while sitting on the hard shoulder?
Speaking authoritatively AS A BORDER we can confirm that the type of ^protection^ this British so-called “MP”describes strikes us as being a little too *drowny* for our liking…
Best to just abide by international law in our book
#KentishMorality
#OfKent
If you’re not interested in doing your job, what you’re paid to do. ie. “Protecting our borders”, maybe get a job elsewhere?
Westminster voting intention:
LAB: 36% (-)
CON: 35% (-4)
GRN: 11% (+5)
LDEM: 9% (-)
via @IpsosMORI, 29 Oct - 04 Nov
Chgs. w/ Sep
https://t.co/uUEQTNgoGf
We may yet live to see the repatriation of the Margate Marbles in our lifetime, citizens
#KentishHistory
#OfKent
A Cambridge college is to become the first British institution to return a looted Benin sculpture. The majority of Britons (62%) support permanently returning artefacts to their country of origin
https://t.co/oY9Y3rxH6B
Good question
As we are barred from the Forum in Tunbridge Wells for trying to place a border checkpoint on the grass outside we’re not best placed to answer
Citizens?
#KentishHiveMind
#OfKent
Good question
As we are barred from the Forum in Tunbridge Wells for trying to place a border checkpoint on the grass outside we’re not best placed to answer
Citizens?
#KentishHiveMind
#OfKent
@BorderKent Are there any decent nightclubs in Kent, the sort where I shan't run into government ministers trying to get themselves comped in?
Also, by way of a welcome gift, new citizens can claim a box of these (that are ^effectively^ in date*, give or take…) from our merchandise store at Clacket Lane services
#MadeWithKentishCobnuts
#OfKent
WELCOME NEW CITIZENS
The lack of milkshake appears to have brought several of the boys (and girls) to the yard
Kentish citizenship (of Kent) can be a bewildering experience at the best of times but we have done our best to explain through the medium of ^A Thread^ 👇🏻
Our habitual if too infrequent ^serious plea^
If you can, throw a few cobnuts’ worth of change in the direction of
@refugeecouncil or @RefugeeAction
Or they face the British alone
#KentishValues
#OfKent
The Kentish border (of Kent) will remain open to refugees and asylum seekers regardless of what the Westminster junta says
#Morals
The British are a funny bunch.
Imagine making such a song and dance about making overseas even harder by pretending you're responsible for it all in the first place.
Precisely 0% of it passes through Kent we should add.
#KentishDiplomacy
#OfKent
#OurQuestIsToCongest
68 trade deals + the EU. £744bn in value. With more yet to come.
Today we're celebrating 5 years as a department. 🎈
We have faxed England team headquarters offering them asylum should the British govt attempt to incarcerate / "disappear" them under emergency anti-anti-racism measures
#KentishRefuge
#OfKent
You don’t get to stoke the fire at the beginning of the tournament by labelling our anti-racism message as ‘Gesture Politics’ & then pretend to be disgusted when the very thing we’re campaigning against, happens.
Clarification:
Our Twateral Flow test is like the Covid Lateral Flow test.
Only instead of detecting coronavirus, it identifies racist twats
We clear? We’re clear
#KentishAntiRacism
#OfKent
English people will henceforth be required to pass a Twateral Flow test to cross the border
Not racist? You’re in
Racist? No thanks
#KentAgainstRacism
We would urge our so-called former colonial masters to resist their inclination to destroy all democratic checks and balances to satisfy their unquenchable thirst for untrammelled power without responsibility.
There. We've said it.
#KentishAdvice
#OfKent
Today the UK Government announced plans to strengthen Parliamentary oversight of the Electoral Commission. Read our full response here: https://t.co/wuzA0haMUs
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