Top Tweets for #Offspring2
I went out for two hours. #SpousalUnit and #Offspring2 have managed to render my Smart dishwasher very stupid and also very beepy. Why are men like this?
I am waiting for that "aha!" moment when my man-mates (#SpousalUnit and #Offspring2) realize that when I describe in very precise detail what it will take to put dinner on the table THREE TIMES, they are responsible for putting dinner on the table.
@dumplingdesirer Bad business practice. I brought my perfectly operational stove and fridge with me when we moved here and I am quite prepared to make #Offspring2 haul those in the house and hand wash dishes in lieu of rent (he's laid off right now) rather than risk my health at a store.
Just 1 LFT to go now before Christmas is go. #Offspring2 still testing positive. Amazingly I have all the symptoms of current #Covid_19 but I don’t have it, just a cold. I’ve coughed so much my lungs and chest burn & my head is pounding. Ditching the lemsip hitting the codeine..
I just asked Boss to go downstairs and bite #Offspring2 into remembering what I asked him to do an hour ago and that Boss thought about it for a minute but ultimately refused (demonstrated by digging a rawhide out of the couch) makes him better than me on at least two levels.
If you arent't interested in insurrection or being sorely disappointed by your high school classmates and extended family, the only thing bookface is good for is storage and reminding us of things. That "amazing puppy" text message from #Offspring2 changed my life. -
In my home office playing scrabble while listening to my fave 3 soundtracks quietly. Tweeting. #SpousalUnit is in the livingroom watching Johnny Carson and I can hear the hum of #Offspring2 playing some online XBox whatever with his friends.
Sometimes my interwebs brings calm.
@BobbiHorinek Dense was a big part of our childhoods, as far as I can recall. I softened it with #Offspring1 and #Offspring2 often by looking them in the eyes and saying, "You're lucky you're as good looking as you are."
Important Note: Neither was dense enough not to understand.
Currently #Offspring2 and I are violently agreeing that this announcer should stop mispronouncing Romanov's name in the name of global unity. Or something. #GoHabsGo
He’s a snack!
That’s how #offspring2.0 raids the fridge.
.
.
#dadofboys #toddler #hunger #munchies https://t.co/blyFKz1pV2
My wife has just come back from her first drive with #offspring2 driving #offsprings1’s car. She came in, sat down and demanded I make her a strong cocktail. I assume it’s not gone that well then :)
That's a good lookin' guy!!! #offspring2
Shit, another day in the life.... Outing with the children! #offspring1 & #offspring2 https://t.co/ztTE0NXE7Z
I HATE HER.
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