Top Tweets for #doublebinds
Why is Exposing Manipulators @exposingleyers choosing to defend Lindsey Gaetani on the one hand, yet attacking her on the other?
#DoubleBinds

@SheraFamily The #DoubleBinds and ongoing #CoerciveControl can be unbearable! It's like dying slowly and painfully while sinking into the quicksand and watching your kids suffer. #QuicksandModel
@davidgmandel My guess for the popularity of this tweet is that it resonates with so many survivors and their experience with the system and the #DoubleBinds it creates as re-traumatizing.
Mothers are constantly placed in #DoubleBinds by the system that prevent them from being seen as competent no matter what they do. This #DoubleStandard facilitates removing children from loving and protective parents and handing them over to the very perpetrators mother's supposedly failed to protect them from.
Here is a conversation I had once with a child protection supervisor:
Social worker supervisor: The mother keeps lying to us about the domestic violence.
Me: It sounds like you are pretty angry at her for not telling you the truth about what's happening.
Social work supervisor: Yes I am because the child is in danger.
Me: Are you more angry at her for lying than you at the perpetrator for creating the danger in the first place?
Social work supervisor: *awkward silence*
We have trained an entire cohort of professionals to be angrier at domestic violence survivors than at the perpetrators of domestic violence. "Failure to protect" culture is real. It's a set of unwritten rules, practices and beliefs that direct practitioners to blame mothers who are survivors and ignore fathers who are perpetrating violence. This is unfair, inefficient, ineffective and unsafe. And we can do it better. #StopBlamingMothers #StopIgnoringFathers
So true! Targets of coercive control & domestic abuse are often placed in #DoubleBinds that exacerbate already suffocating constraints. My #QuicksandModel illustrates how the target often feels like they're suffocating, drowning and being squeezed to death by #CoerciveControl
Just posted on this very subject. It's a very narrow window of acceptable behavior. Survivors get both; "why didn't she fight back, she doesn't care about herself or her kids." and "Why did she fight back, that just provokes him and makes it worse for everyone" Lose, lose.
#DoubleBinds are an important aspect of my #QuicksandModel . These #Sexist constraints provide #CoerciveControllers everything they need to exploit females within our #Patriarchal and #Misogynistic communities … and support rampant #CoerciveControl worldwide
If a #TargetOfCoerciveControl is emotional, they are found "not credible", if they don't show emotion, they "aren't afraid" of the #CoerciveController. #DoubleBinds #QuicksandModel
Judge - Mother spoke clearly and was very specific with accounts ,dates of events yet lacked emotion I don't believe she feared Mr A
MOTHER can relay her lived experiences like the weatherman relays the weather because she is so traumatised and disconnected
Trauma
There is nothing as crazy making as being abused, doing exactly as you have been told to do: leave. Then being blamed & your efforts to gain safety used against you by professionals & the very institutions that claim to assist us.
Parents who are trying to protect a child from a known abuser - their other parent - are punished for telling the truth. Lie and you are accused of not protecting your child. Tell the truth and the system will accuse you of lying. Children lose in both situations.
Kubrick, Hitchcock, Spielberg, Nolan, Scott... all feds #DoubleBinds #Schismogenesis #Bateson on the big screen https://t.co/Q5yBe94rpG

@FitzPlanet Yes. It’s all a trap. That’s why one of the foundations of my #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model is #DoubleBinds. Once a coercive controller has you entrapped in family court, you will often lose no matter what you do… or don’t do. #CoerciveControl #WeaponizingCourts
@MyDownRabbit @_jmele @MrJonCryer @rabiasquared @sanfordheisler @BrianFrosh @BaltimoreSAO Hae Min Lee’s psychopathic killer had his murder convictions reinstated yesterday
Today #InnocenceFraud pusher Rabia O’Choudry has bizarrely claimed there is now an ‘open homicide case’ #DoubleBinds #DarkTriadTraits
Cc: @ivanjbates @BaltimoreSAO @sanfordheisler @BrianFrosh
Check out my new blog on #DoubleBinds, the second Double in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model™ of #CoerciveControl.
https://t.co/otSMMJipjR
Constant #DoubleBinds
We damned if you do, damned if you don’t women all the time.
#DoubleBinds, like the one you describe, are everywhere when you are trapped in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand of #CoerciveControl
Seems important to note: When someone names their abuser, they're demonized and called a liar. When they don't they're shamed for "enabling the perpetrator." Lose-lose! Wrote about this for @Jezebel here: https://t.co/XrrGlN8WZi
On the one hand: "Trust the police"
On the other hand: women are categorised as "mad,bad or sad".
Therein lies the quandary.
@outofhiscontrol CPS Worker: “If you don’t get a protective order we’ll take your kids for failure to protect.” A year later, same offender, GAL: “Just because he assaulted you doesn’t mean he’s not a good dad.” #DoubleBinds #DoubleStandards & #DoubleSpeak entrap victims in #PsychoSocialQuicksand
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