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The Scottish Government wants to erase the term “drug misuse” from its vocabulary. Not the drugs. Not the deaths. Just the words. Because in Holyrood, tragedy is fine so long as it's linguistically neutral. 1,172 drug deaths last year. A 12% rise. Still the drug death capital of Europe. And their response? Rebranding the obituary. Euphemism is now their only functioning service. You can die in squalor from state neglect, but don’t worry your death will be described in compassionate, non-stigmatising terms. Scotland- where public health collapses, but the press release stays woke. What do you call a government that fears plain language more than public death? In Scotland, we call it “progressive.” This isn’t compassion. It’s cowardice with a thesaurus. Language policing to cover policy failure. The SNP doesn’t fix crises it rephrases them. Scotland’s national strategy is now crystal clear: spin the funeral, manage the narrative, blame Westminster, and change the nouns. A death cult in PR drag.