Hayley England

[bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer]

Train Guy...Chaotic Balls

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Wondering if an email is still valid if it fails to acknowledge “these strange times”

[Hayley England @hce56]

@zoom_us Hi Zoom! I've been trying to sign up for 2 days with my work email address but I keep getting 'system error'. Are you able to advise why this may not be working? I've tried with another email and this seems to be fine. Thanks!

[Hayley England @hce56]

@HSBC_UK please can you at least advise telephone banking details if the entire website is down? I need to transfer money before 23.45 to avoid overdraft charges. Will HSBC provide compensation if this happens?

[C4 Gogglebox @C4Gogglebox]

2 WEEKS TO GO! Are you counting down the days @ScarlettMoffatt & @GoggleboxMoffs? #gogglebox #goggleboxfriday

[Hayley England @hce56]

@Hblink bring back the Nokia 3210!

[Hayley England @hce56]

@Hblink oh noo! Yours is defo worse!

[Hayley England @hce56]

@Hblink I have no letters or numbers on my lock screen after the latest android update argh.

[Ross Noble @realrossnoble]

I swear to god the person having their photo taken outside airport WH smith deserves to be stabbed in the neck with a big toblerone

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Not hearing someone for the third time, so chuckling and hoping for the best

[Charlie Brooker @charltonbrooker]

On the plus side, Labour also suffered a shock defeat in 92, but were back in power just 5 years later, fronted by a messianic warmonger.

[The B🐸🐸k of Mormon @bookofmormonuk]

😂 Good News/Bad News KLAXON 😢
Erm, we kinda have to retire our Nabulungi #NigelFarage gag today. #GE02015

[C4 Gogglebox @C4Gogglebox]

Bruce Forsythe is 4 months older than sliced bread. #fact #Gogglebox

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Don't quote me on that" - Translation: I'm talking absolute rubbish

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"I was thinking today we might..." - Translation: This is what we're doing today