Tex

save a horse

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Me: “What would we have talked about if I didn’t get my haircut today?”

Girlfriend: “Our Future.”

Purrrr

[Tex @head_cowboy]

New destination wedding idea. Just hear me out. Eagle’s Nest

[Tex @head_cowboy]

I just ran 80,000 simulations and I’m bricked up in 100% of them.

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Yea! You like that baby

[Tex @head_cowboy]

I hope to god this caffeine pill has fentanyl in it

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@jimjonesfanacct she must peg you HARD if you’re gripping the sheets like that

[Tex @head_cowboy]

We are so back. Badgers to the CFB playoffs

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@jimjonesfanacct Are you okay? Did I give you HIV?

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Landlord just knocked and said we’re not allowed to have pet dogs in our building 🐕

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@reallyniceguy12 get his ass -> J, 5,5,5,5 👀

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@BickBickle I just did some real cool shit… what do ya think?

[Ralphie McQuade @BickBickle]

The smallest poops require the most wipes… pretty deep if you think about it

[Tex @head_cowboy]

I smell a cigarette… and I imagine this is how Goldilocks felt when she smelt that porridge and saw those warm comfy beds 🤤

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Just told my girl:
“You, Me, a bottle of wine, and a sunset is exactly what I need”

She ate that shit up. It’s easy boys… completely lying to her

In fact, what I really need is a bucket of beer, a pack of cigarettes, and a big fucking TV with some sports on 🚬😎🍻

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@BickBickle you talkin about fuckin?

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Girl just asked what I want to do to her. I said “just use your imagination… and I’m sure it’s pretty close”. Let her do all the work

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Just got the biggest blue balls ever. Didn’t have a condom and boy was she strokin my shit

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Cuz @BickBickle def my A1 nigga. @jimjonesfanacct an opp fo sho

[Tex @head_cowboy]

Can a white boy have Niggas yet?

[Tex @head_cowboy]

@jimjonesfanacct damn this gay as hell, in more ways than one