Mark Chang

Cyber (Mobile, Threat Intel, Digital Force Protection). Dad (5). Polyglot (Mandarin, Japanese, Khmer). ABCDEFG (American Born Chinese in DE for good?)

[US Spec Ops Europe @US_SOCEUR]

Cyber. SOF. Ready.

30 NATO cyber experts trained at CODEC to bring real cyber capability into special operations missions.

Stronger together. Faster on the battlefield.

#NATO #SOCEUR #Cybergate
@USSOCOM | @NATO | @NATO_SOF

[US Spec Ops Europe @US_SOCEUR]

Cyber integration is mission readiness.📡

SOF cyber experts from 16 NATO nations trained at Combined Arms Operational Digital Enablers Course in Mons, Belgium last month. Cyber builds mission readiness.

Learn fast. Apply faster.⚡

#NATO #SOF #Cyber
@NATO | @NATO_SOF | @USSOCOM

[Seattle Seahawks @Seahawks]

Job's done.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

Hah. Everyone’s mama.

[Noah Chast @NoahChastTV]

Nick Emmanwori's mom Justina, who is Nigerian, does not yet understand the hype around the Super Bowl 😅

"Maybe this is something big that I don't know."

Her and the whole Emmanwori family are heading to San Francisco to watch Nick and the Seahawks.

@abc_columbia

[NFL @NFL]

Best TNF game since...? 👀 @NFLonPrime

[Seattle Seahawks @Seahawks]

The darkness came a few days early.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

Everyone, everywhere, all at once.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

How will I remember this?? #dadjokes #hacklu #hacklu2025

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

Own it!

[Dominic White 👾 @singe]

CrowdStrike accepting the @PwnieAwards for “most epic fail” at @defcon. Class act.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

@vxunderground Not picky...will be grateful to receive whatever you have (A/B/C) in M to catch my tears while away from DEFCON.

[KITKAT @KITKAT]

Time to have a break... KitKat® anyone? 🍫

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

All the way from Germany to root on the Ms!! #tridentsup

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

Wow.

[Pizza Pepe 🇺🇸 @PizzaPepe]

Incredible! 97-year-old WW2 paratrooper vet returns to Normandy to recreate his D-Day jump. 🫡🫡

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

@Delta Early morning run! And then hodl as long as you can til bedtime. Repeat.

[Baseball King @BasebaIlKing]

The Brewers recreated this iconic scene from The Sandlot 😂😂

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

@vxunderground Happy five years!!

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

My wife and I are currently in Japan. She 'accidentally' found herself in the beauty section of a Japanese Department Store. What follows is a series of puns I would say out loud to myself as I saw products with weird names whilst I was following her around. You're welcome.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

@FujikakeRin Tokyo’s answer to energize the population decline.

[Mark Chang @hellomarkchang]

@YourCommissary we need these back! What better way to bring them back than with a little cherry obit!

[Liquid Death @LiquidDeath]

🚨 BACK IN STOCK 🚨 Our new flavors drove so much traffic to Amazon that they shut down the ability to order. They since realized that this was not a foreign government trying to order all the Liquid Death to create American hysteria. Go nuts: https://t.co/UfG1LEjz9m #liquiddeath