Henvy

I’m mentally insane

[eido @Eidorian510]

-- on losing today (19 tourney streak broken)

I am relieved. the hunger to do greater left me & i stagnated - less discipline & my head got big. i was losing the plot, even if it was unintentional - i prioritized other things like content over improvement ingame, and got less consistent gym, sleep & eating in.
im not saying ive devolved over the last couple months, but a large part of me has been questioning "why am i even competing - beyond the physical like money & pride?" and "why am I so different & negative on stream recently?"

ive had to tackle these questions for a while & after losing today and seeing the most negativity ive ever gotten since ive started as a creator, i understand again, i had just forgotten.
first off, ill say I don't care what anyone thinks or says about me, and its always been like that. I think if you did, losing & getting hate would destroy you as a player or creator. you have to let go of the strength you give to the opinions of others & their chaining effects on you.

but it opened my eyes to the fact that i still have thousands supporting me even through the loss, whether its just cus they enjoy my gameplay or actually stay because they like me. losing recently has made me feel relieved. it reminded me that im not this special "giga talented" player and its proof that through the right methods anyone can improve and succeed. Naturally, there was some cope, some mean things were said that i regret - im not perfect. I genuinely am happy for the win of floormen because I know some of them and how much work they put in to get this win.

i started because the game was fun and I love it. winning is cool, & being one of the greats is too. I think that'll naturally come with hard work & self reflection.
but the reason I compete is
to inspire & teach others to do better in game & out. to have them know that they can also become whatever they want to become, & that you are free from your past if you let yourself be. that you CAN change. the reason I even started streaming & trying to go pro is because I said to myself "but imagine if I could pull it off"

the winning is the culmination of all efforts put into one event.
so even if that doesnt happen, its alright. im not upset at this loss at all, & im glad i could actually take some time to reflect - but that doesn't mean I don't want to win. I had fun, I love playing with my team, and I love inspiring others to believe in themselves and be more positive. those are the reasons i play comp.
I can confidently say i've been reinvigorated. I will wake up tomorrow as a brand new person, not as the one who lost or felt sorry for himself yesterday, but as a new person not tied to his past. I know I couldve done so much more to win, but I won't let that affect me. And whether we win or not next time, im okay with it. just gonna do the best I can in the right way. Lets lock in, eat 3 meals, get good sleep and hit the gym.
more good vibes & healthier ego.
and to the new future person, if you're ever struggling to find your reason to keep going come back to this post.
or just listen to the right jcole songs
o7

[Henvy @henvy___]

@chuun_ie Bless it isn’t jst me, actually random asf

[Henvy @henvy___]

@chuun_ie How long do I gotta walk, how many toes I gotta suck 🤤😵‍💫

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

"ai is replacing us"

i’d love to see an ai crash out over a girl he's not even dating

[Henvy @henvy___]

@chuun_ie Figuring out chuu is Australian, talking abt shouting drinks and drinking is probably the greatest way to figure something like this out, happy Australia Day Chuu ✌️

[Alois @AloisNL]

WHATSUP DEAR PIGGIES🐷

I'm doing a BIGG 3000 Euro giveaway to give back in the Winter season for all the love and support you all have shown me🩵

1x custom pc
1x switch 2
50x 10 euro RP
20x courses/champion guide

Doing it on gleam to be able to include all platforms, goodluck!

https://t.co/GgPWqnRafk

[Alois @AloisNL]

Today marks three years of being a content creator after quitting professional play on November 20th 2022

The past 3 years have been insane with many emotions, but above everything else I just feel extremely blessed and grateful to be in the position I am in today.

Whilst writing this out and reflecting, three years feels far away yet I still remember all the emotions and moments of success & struggle and it feels like I only just made the decision to jump into the deep end to go for content. For reference, I started with about 5200 followers on Twitch and 400 subs on Youtube.

I want to thank everybody in my community for any support and a big THANK YOU for changing my life permanently🩵 I am a highschool dropout before I pursued professional play and this has given me peace with my decision I made when I was much younger

Secondly I want to thank my team that I work with as I would be nowhere near where I am today without the goated team I have around me helping me every single day

If any other (starting)creators have questions about doing content feel free to ask me down below!

Big happy day for me, going to do a massive giveaway soon to give back!🤠🙏

[Henvy @henvy___]

@ZenlessWorld Sharkboo thinking he straight outta die lit

[Henvy @henvy___]

@GyaruGlow @shpamba1

[Henvy @henvy___]

@ShitpostGate @shpamba1

[Henvy @henvy___]

@Dexerto Someone’s a lil upsetty spaghetti :(

[Henvy @henvy___]

@kirachem @shpamba1 GYATTTTT

[Henvy @henvy___]

@7RANSPARENCY

[Henvy @henvy___]

@_Ochacon24 @shpamba1

[Henvy @henvy___]

@Plexyzzzz @shpamba1 LMFAOOOOO 💀

[Henvy @henvy___]

@PuppyGirlFPS @shpamba1 😭💀

[Henvy @henvy___]

@domerxo @shpamba1 me talking to any woman ever 😭🙏

[Henvy @henvy___]

@MugaroBlanc212 @myoonin_ LESSGOO MUGGO

[Henvy @henvy___]

@shpamba1 @VALORANTLeaksEN Idk what to tell you man