heylee jordan

awkwardly speaking with nothing to say.

[Real Friends @realfriendsband]

Walking around Target may not cure depression, but it makes it hurt less.

[Sarah Beattie @nachosarah]

wear a goddamn mask you dumb motherfuckers

[Lisa Shmeesa 🦎🦎🦎 @LisaRieffel]

My kid wrote a song called,
“I Wonder What’s Inside your Butthole” Quite honestly, it slaps.

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

@Winter what do i have to do to get “be excellent to each other, and party on dudes” in yours and keanu’s handwriting for a tattoo? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 🖤🖤

[night blooming jasmine @babywasteland]

doc martens are business casual if you aren’t a coward

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

fuck cancer 🖕🏼
https://t.co/69ZDOQlW2M

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

if 2,000 of my closest friends wanna help me out, my venmo is @ heyleej

[TWIABP&IANLATD @twiabp]

be worry, don't happy

[Rose Ellen Dix 🌹 @RoseEllenDix]

I

AM

NERVOUS

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

Happy birthday, @SnoopDogg! I hope your candles aren't the only things that gets lit.

[College Life @8_Semesters]

When life gets hard, always remember

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

“i’ll do more for a blow job than a klondike bar” - my husband

[Lo @laurenehubbard]

PSA: The new iPhone costs $999.

The entire Cracker Barrel menu costs $887.71

...make smart choices.

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(828): So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(505): Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

stressed tf out 🙃

[Derrick Rose @DRoseTV]

Retweet if you didn't win the Powerball... 😢

[TWIABP&IANLATD @twiabp]

the world is a beautiful place but we have to make it that way

[heylee jordan @heylee_11]

@tresandahalf YESS🙌🏼🙌🏼